Those Silver Knight Archers have a crappy job.

Well since the thread is Necroed...

Serpent Soldier on the boulder track: Zzzzzzzzzzz

*boulder hits him*

Hmmmzzz what?!....Zzzzzzz

*boulder hits him again*

Ahhhhhh....hhh.....Zzzzzzz

*dead*

My thread lives!

Yarxov wrote:Doughguy necrobumped first.

Fred: Oh look, here he comes again, never learns does he?
*Le Sunbro in his shining brilliance valiantly marches forward*
Ted: *Pew Pew*
Fred:*Pew Pew*
....
Ted: Well...that was easy.

Suck it Eli, my ost was noticed

mugenis4real wrote:LMAO, can you just imagine the conversations they have standing up there all day?

Fred: This job man. This job sucks.
Ted: Eh it could be worse.
Fred: Really? Worse? When was the last time you saw your kids Ted?
Ted: Well they should be around 7 now, or 9...
Fred: Nope. Their 39 Ted. 39.
Ted: Time does fly doesn't it?
Fred: Sometimes I wonder about you...Hey wait a tic looks like we got another one!
Ted: Ha! Still using the Drake Sword too!
Fred: Get back to your side man, he isn't just gonna throw himself off the edge now is he?

LOL! I laughed at this mainly cuz my very first time going through Anor Londo, I was attempting to do it with a drake sword myself.....before I knew any better.....

Lautrec and Petrus

L: Sooo....did you get with that fine piece of *** Reah?
P: Dude...no, she *** snubbed me, so I left her in the ToG, that'll teacher her! >
L: Duuuude Nice! Hey, I'll see you later, that dumbass chosen undead just rang the second bell, and I gotta axe the firekeeper before he gets back.
P: Dude, just make sure you dispose of any evidence, when he gets back he's gonna be pissed.
L: Hahaha, even if he knew I did it, how's he gonna find me? A magic black orb? That'll be the day!

I can't believe that i've missed this thread.

One of the best threads around

Someone needs to continue working on these fanfics.

bloodpixel wrote:They stand on a 2 feet wide ledge and shoot arrows that have extremely powerful recoil. This is there job everyday. No time for sleep. You'll just fall of the *** edge.

Hate those two...

I honestly hate the Blightown waterwheel more than the silver knight archers...for some reason that thing just has my number. Yet I can get by the archers relatively easily, go figure.

Noob-of-Artorias wrote:Lautrec and Petrus

L: Sooo....did you get with that fine piece of *** Reah?
P: Dude...no, she *** snubbed me, so I left her in the ToG, that'll teacher her! >
L: Duuuude Nice! Hey, I'll see you later, that dumbass chosen undead just rang the second bell, and I gotta axe the firekeeper before he gets back.
P: Dude, just make sure you dispose of any evidence, when he gets back he's gonna be pissed.
L: Hahaha, even if he knew I did it, how's he gonna find me? A magic black orb? That'll be the day!

Lol that was f-ing hysterical, this thread is hysterical. I can only imagine the conversations Lautrec and Petrus have.

Capra: ..........*silently knitting wool slippers*
*sounds of chosen undead killing thieves outside fog*
Capra: .......... *places slippers and knitting needles into a barrel, hides rocking chair*
*chosen undead enters fog, smashed by capras machete withen 3 seconds*
Capra: .......... Ohhh! these boots would go perfect with my tail!!!! *giggles happily and takes boots, then throws body to dogs*

*Dog inside in the water wheel*

I...HATE...MY...LIFE!

CaptanSpudsy wrote:*Dog inside in the water wheel*

I...HATE...MY...LIFE!

"HELP, JANE, STOP THIS CRAZY THING!!!"

Noob-of-Artorias wrote:

CaptanSpudsy wrote:*Dog inside in the water wheel*

I...HATE...MY...LIFE!

"HELP, JANE, STOP THIS CRAZY THING!!!"

"Swing low, Sweet chariot~~~"

Quelana:I still don't follow any of this.
Solaire:Look, it's really simple. I'm the son of the King of Anor Londo.
Quelana:Then why are you in The Parish?
Solaire:Let me break it down for ya. Every nation belongs to one of three major empires. Anor Londo, The Chinese Federation, Anor Londo, Sana Mario, Kazakhstan, Anor Londo, Alderaan, Anor Londo, Corneria and Anor Londo.
Quelana:I don't even know why I bothered to ask.
Solaire:My dad is the current King of Anor Londo
(cut)
Gwyn:This job is ***** good!
(cut back)
Solaire:With dad being the king and all, one wife wasn't his thing. Unfortunately, it was only too late he discovered the downside of having too many wives.
(cut)
Gwyn:If I've got to watch one more episode of Desperate Gravewives, I'm going to saw my own arm off.
(Cut back)
Solaire:See, me and Gwynevere have the same mother—
(Cut)
Solaire: Gwynevere! WE HAVE TO KILL THE TOOTH FAIRY!
Gwynevere:Every day I pray I was adopted.
(Cut back)
Solaire:We had a ***-ton of half brothers and sisters, who all lived with us at dad's place. And my God we were motherlicking adorable. For the most part we tolerated each other. However, we sometimes got on each other's nerves.[Image of young Solaire and young Gwynevere fighting over plate] In my defence, she would not let go of that plate. Of course there was that one half brother...Dah, nevermind. Anyway, one day I went along with dad on a diplomatic trip to Dragonland. You see, Dragonland used to be great independent nation, led by a great man. (image of Abraham Lincoln with a gatling gun arm) There was only one flaw. His son.
(Cut)
Seath:I can live entirely on a diet of crayons and lighter fluid!
(Cut back)
Solaire:After one tragic slip'n'slide incident, I decided we should return home—[[image of young Solaire with Hair on fire]—only to find that my mom had gone and gotten herself shot.
(Cut)
Velka:[through hail of arrows] That smarts!
(Cut back)
Solaire:From there I was sent back to Dragonland, where I thought my father would miss me.
Gwyn:[Thinking]What was I thinking about just now? Something about Dragonland.[Out loud] We're taking over Dragonland. [thinking] Booya!
Solaire:Meanwhile, Seath was determined when he grew up to win the war between The Dragons and Silver Knights. Unfortunately, he signed up for the wrong side.
Quelana:Not surprised.
Solaire:Yes, but what is surprising is that even with Seath's on their team, the Silver Knights somehow won, which brings me to today. Long story short, there's some remnants of the underground Dragonese army.
(Cut)
Everlasting Dragon:If anyone wants a pizza bagel, e-mail me and i'll give you some.
(Cut back)
Solaire:There's still some Silver Knight soldiers occuping the country.
(Cut to Those Two Guys)
Ted:Dude, you know what I'm thinking?
Ted & Fred: PIZZA BAGELS!
(cut back)
Solaire:And finally there's some rebel forces which look up to me after Gwyndolin went and killed himself.
Quelana:I thought you killed him.
Solaire:Eh, Details.
Quelana:Well, I guess that covers about everything.
Solaire:Yup, no gaping plotholes at all.
Quelana:But...
Solaire: At ALL!
[Beat]
Quelana:But what about your friends? What about Artorias, what about The Pygmy—
Solaire: NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE PYGMY!

SOMEONE RING HOLLYWOOD!

Outside of Alvina's building

Shiva: SHHHHH! Everyone shut up! Get out your bingo cards, just in case! That one looked like he was going to the Grave! Let's see if he's dumb enough to tell it to Alvina!

*the Forest Hunter clan leans up on the wall, listening*

Alvina: Mmm, so tell me true, noble traveler, surely thou are not one of the fools following the lie of a grave belonging to a warrior who never existed...? Hmmm?

Undead: Actually, kinda am.

Alvina: You fobbish base-court gudgeon! Currish fustilarian! You will perish, you gleeking doghearted artless pottle-deep qualling spur-galled joithead!

Shiva: She's in fine voice today. What's the score?

Ninja: I got bingo.

Shiva: That's three in a row. What do you want?

Ninja: That ring looks pretty nice.

Reah, Quelana, Sieglinde, and Laurentius

*all women piled around Laurentius in a harem*

R-Q-S: Ohhhhh Laurentius, is it true what they say about you?

Laurentius: Whatever do you mean? *smirk*

R-Q-S: That you're...you know...gifted....

Laurentius: Why Ladies, of course, you should all know I'm always packing the... "Ultimate Fantasy"

R-Q-S: Ohhhhhhhh *faint*

Laurentius...Magical Dream, Pimp Supreme!

Smough: Hey Orney, what was you doin up on der on the balcony when da Chosen one came in?
Ornstien: Uhh... nothing. Don't worry about it.
Smough: Wait... Whuts up there? You know I can't fit in the El'abator!
Ornstien: ... *rides elevator upstairs*
Smough: ... jerk ...

Hellion7776 wrote:Smough: Hey Orney, what was you doin up on der on the balcony when da Chosen one came in?
Ornstien: Uhh... nothing. Don't worry about it.
Smough: Wait... Whuts up there? You know I can't fit in the El'abator!
Ornstien: ... *rides elevator upstairs*
Smough: ... jerk ...

Smoughy Plz...

Odd moments with our favorite sunbro
Seath's theory;
Seath: See, Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream. He believed that everyone's televisions should compete for the best picture quality.
Solaire: (to Jeremiah) You believe this?
Jeremiah: I stopped listening months ago.
Solaire: We've only been out here for like two minutes.
Jeremiah: Yeah, where is 'here' exactly?
Solaire:...I don't know!

Why Lordran is Lordran:
Quelana: Are you mad?
Solaire: ...
Quelana: You're mad aren't you.
Solaire: I'm not upset! I'm not! This country is upset! With absurd prices! 5 dollars for a meal at McDonald's?! I need more meat in my diet! I look around and I see just stupid. Quit complaining about religion, NO ONE CARES! Oompa Loompas are murdering themselves! *Oompa Loompa head smashes into wall nearby* Oh boo hoo, you're ***, you're lesbian, you're straight, MY PENIS DOESN'T WORK!!