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    Those Silver Knight Archers have a crappy job.

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    Post by mugenis4real Wed Apr 11, 2012 2:18 pm

    Wouldn't it actually be a kiss? A big, wet, painful kiss.
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    Post by bloodpixel Wed Apr 11, 2012 2:20 pm

    Like a French Kiss except she bites your tongue off.
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    Post by cloudyeki Wed Apr 11, 2012 2:23 pm

    Gargoyle greg: Hey
    Gargoyle steve: .....
    G.greg: hey hey hey
    G.steve: what
    G.greg: ppffffft... guess what
    G.steve: I swear to god greg if you sa-
    G.greg: CHICKEN BUTT!!!!
    G.steve: that's it, I'm gonna beat you with your own tail!
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    Post by Yarxov Wed Apr 11, 2012 6:33 pm

    Greg: Hey
    Steve: WHAT?!
    Greg: There's um..some guys coming...
    Steve: And I need to kill them Right?! Riight?!
    Greg:Yeah because of my disability and all....
    Steve: fine...Rawr!

    BB glitched sunbro: *Whack*
    Greg: Noo! Steve! I'm coming!
    BB glitched sunbro: *Whack*
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    Post by cloudyeki Wed Apr 11, 2012 6:46 pm

    Martin: so then my cousin Greg got his tail ripped off and-
    Anthony: hate to cut you off but some guy with ears like ours is coming this way.
    Martin: huh, it DOES look like our ears, and is he carrying greg's tail?
    Anthony: aw cripes. Roshambo for who has to go down there.
    Martin & Anthony: 3, 2, 1, shoot!
    Anthony: haha looks like your going first.
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    Post by skarekrow13 Wed Apr 11, 2012 9:35 pm

    Gargoyle Man hunts Gargoyles? You're the Seath of Gargoyles.
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    Post by Deadpool Wed Apr 11, 2012 10:29 pm

    Ted: Dude

    Fred: Sweet

    Ted: Dude

    Fred: Sweet
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    Post by cloudyeki Wed Apr 11, 2012 10:41 pm

    How else do I get a decent amount of replaceable armor! I'm not rich like batman!
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    Post by Rynoa Thu Apr 12, 2012 5:17 am

    I love this thread big grin
    So, anything about Butcher and Mildred? :evil:

    Edit: I just realized the lizards have probably the crappiest job ever.. like, slaugthered without mercy, and they are an endengered species, too. Just a limited amount of them :shock:
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    Post by ViralEnsign_ Thu Apr 12, 2012 5:38 am

    Rynoa wrote:I love this thread big grin
    So, anything about Butcher and Mildred? :evil:

    Edit: I just realized the lizards have probably the crappiest job ever.. like, slaugthered without mercy, and they are an endengered species, too. Just a limited amount of them :shock:

    Butcher 1- Hey Mildred, ever considered taking a break from eating people?

    Mildred- (looks up from a nice helping of chosen drumsticks) No. Why?

    Butcher 1- Well James and I were talking... and we kiind of wanted to try the vegetarian thing for a week.. you know just to see if we like it.

    James- Yeah what he said.

    Mildred- Hmmm i guess thats fine but what will you eat then. its the Depths down here?

    Butcher 1- There are those pies that the Giant Club Guys some times have. They're pretty tasty when you add a little of the Green Slimes to it.

    Mildred- I think I'm gonna be sick....
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    Post by DoughGuy Thu Apr 12, 2012 5:38 am

    Gapig Dragon "So my twelfth tooth down, fourth tooth in, I think I got something stuck there"
    Dentist "Lemme just .. *plop* another broadsword! You really have to be careful with these adventurers, they're full of sharp metal bits that can get caught everywhere"
    Gaping Dragon "But they keep coming to my house and killing my cooks and freeing my dinner! What am I meant to do?"
    Dentist "Floss, a lot more. Helps get those little bits out. Now with the sword and the 15 cavities, you really should brush more often, that comes to 18,000 souls."
    Gaping Dragon "Here's 5 pround knights and 10 nameless soldiers"
    Dentist "Thank you and good day. Dont forget to floss!"
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    Post by ViralEnsign_ Thu Apr 12, 2012 5:44 am

    Adventurer- Oh god. You're going to eat me right?

    Gaping Dragon- Yeah...

    Adventurer- Hey how do you stay alive if my body respawns back at the bonfire? Gotta be boring living off souls. Am I right?

    Gaping Dragon- Yeah....

    Adventurer- what do you do then?

    Gaing Dragon- I mix up a nice Caesar Salad. It really hits the spot.

    Adventurer- Wow. I'd never have guessed. Is that true?

    Gaping Dragon- NO! (eats the poor sucker!)
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    Post by DoughGuy Thu Apr 12, 2012 5:45 am

    Gaping "The sewer water really adds flavour, am I right?"
    *Phantoms puking their guts up*
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    Post by Tolvo Thu Apr 12, 2012 7:46 am

    How the hatred between Seath and Havel began.

    Havel-"So Seath, why don't you and your parents come over and-"
    Seath slaps him across the face.
    Seath-"My parents are dead!"
    Havel-"What is your problem, didn't you kill them?"
    Seath-"That's besides the point."
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    Post by Rynoa Thu Apr 12, 2012 8:38 am

    Tolvo wrote:How the hatred between Seath and Havel began.

    Havel-"So Seath, why don't you and your parents come over and-"
    Seath slaps him across the face.
    Seath-"My parents are dead!"
    Havel-"What is your problem, didn't you kill them?"
    Seath-"That's besides the point."

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    Post by DoughGuy Thu Apr 12, 2012 8:49 am

    Havel "hey Seath come look at this"
    Seath "I can't see anything dude I'm blind"
    Havel *snigger*

    This si the new 100+ things you learnt playing dark souls.
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    Post by skarekrow13 Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:41 am

    Ornstein: *knocks on door* "Hey Smough, open up, I got the stuff."
    Smough: "Who is it?"
    Ornstein: "It's me, Ornstein"
    Smough: "Ornstein's not here man!"
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    Post by TehInfamousAmos Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:54 am

    ViralEnsign_ wrote:Vince- Hey man what do you think of this who Undead Mission thing were on?

    Nico- Hmmmmnmmmanannm

    Vince- Dude you always say that....

    Reah- Shut the hell up you two can't you see this is serious. I'm talking with this nice man over here who told me there was treasure down there.

    Nico- Mmmmmmmmmmmm

    Petrus- why do you always make that damn noise

    Nico- Mmmmmmmmmmmm you would too if you looked at "dat ***"

    Reah- God Damn Pervert!
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    Post by kiwi_commander Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:19 am

    Stone Giants in Darkroot Garden:

    Mike: Bob, get over here.
    Bob: Whats up?
    Mike: Remember that Knight we killed a couple of moons ago.
    Bob: The one with the Elite Set?
    Mike: Same one. I have a great idea for his armor. Lets take his set and move it over there.
    Bob: Right by the sleeping trees? Good God! You are a genius; this will be hilarious!
    Mike: Someone is coming... quick, play dead
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    Post by Buggy Virus Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:34 am

    Four lords: Yay! We beat the dragons.
    Nito: What do we do now?
    Seath: Peace, I'm doing crystals.
    Nito: Ok whatever, Gwyn? You're the boss?
    Gwyn: Burn. . . Everything?
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    Post by Tolvo Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:57 am

    Gwyn: "Alright guys, battle plan for fighting the dragons. Me and my knights will hurl our lightning spears at the dragons peeling back their scales. Witches, you gals weave great firestorms and burn them to death. Nito, release your miasma of death and disease on them. Seath, betray your kind. Alright, any questions?"

    Seath: "Yeah, what exactly do you want me to do?"

    Gwyn: "Betray your kind."

    Seath: "No no no, I mean how? That's pretty vague right there."

    Nito: "Won't you guys die from miasma too?"

    Witch: "You know, most of the dragons will be flying, so our storms won't hit them."

    Nito: "wait a second, if they're immortal how are we going to kill them?"

    Seath: "I still don't get how you want me to fight them, they're everlasting dragons and all bigger than me, what am I supposed to do?"

    Witch: "This whole thing just sounds a little poorly conceived."

    Gwyn: "Alright all of you shut the *** up! Okay, I'm the leader here, and I say Nito, Miasma and disease, Witches, Firestorms, and Seath so help me god if you don't betray your own kind. Now, that's that. No more talking about it, it's decided."
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    Post by skarekrow13 Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:00 pm

    How dare you point out plot holes!!

    So how did Seath betray his kind? Called them mean names?
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    Post by Tolvo Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:02 pm

    I haven't the slightest clue, and every time I see the intro that actually pisses me off. I love the story of Dark Souls, but "Betrayed his own kind" is probably the lamest explanation in an introduction to a game I can think of.
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    Post by TehInfamousAmos Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:08 pm

    I think seath just said "Hey Gwyn, you cool with me betraying my own kind for a Lordship?? I think i'll just chill at Anor Londo while you fight"
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    Post by skarekrow13 Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:13 pm

    Probably went down like this:

    In a dark parking lot a stretched black chariot rolls up to the darkest corner.
    A tall bearded figure steps out and approaches a taller, figure.

    Gwyn: "I hear you're looking to betray your kind"
    Seath: "Yeahhhh that'sss right."
    Gwyn: "Well I know a guy, let's just say he's a friend, who might be looking to off one of your kind."
    Seath: "Maybe I know how to help, maybe I don't. What'sssss in it for meeee?"
    Gwyn: "Heard you're into crystals. I got some in the chariot."
    Seath: "Nah man, I kicked the junk."
    Gwyn: "C'mon man, your Dragon Breath is white. I know a junkie when I see one."
    Seath: "Alright you got me. 60 keyssssss and a maiden and weeee got a deal."
    Gwyn: "You got it. Now lay it on me."
    Seath: "Well the thing about usss Dragonssss issss....we ain't immortal without our sssscalesss ssssee."
    Gwyn: "I hear ya.....how do we get 'em off?"
    Seath: "I'm afraid that'll be anothhher maiden....."
    Gwyn: "You drive a hard bargain. I just hope you're not one of those Picasa fetish guys......"
    Seath: "Nah....nothing like that. Ok, here'sssss what you do....hit 'em with lighting. Ssssimple."
    Gywn: "Thanks, Gwyn help you if you're lying to me."
    Seath: "Legit man, legit......how many Dragonsssss you killing, just one or two right?"
    Gwyn: "Yeah.....just the one...just the one..see you around. This works out, you might be a made man."


    Last edited by skarekrow13 on Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:15 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : improved the dialogue)

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