Its a no win.
I'd argue a very, very vocal (and growing) group of people is so focused on not being sexist, they are, in fact, being sexist, by putting either gender first or by implying that the subject of the "sexist" attitude has no control over the situation (as a whole) thus painting the subject (ie women) as powerless victims, meaning they are inferior (else they wouldn't be powerless) which is the same thing they vehemently claim is not true.
This subject is tiresome.