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    The "let it out" thread.

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    Post by Mr. Tart Fri Apr 19, 2013 4:43 am

    Yesterday i questioned whether i was still "human" or not, as i felt completely numb when i found out that Richard died. But today, right now, in the middle of class, i had tears streaming down my face. I haven't cried in a few years now.
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    Post by densetsushun Fri Apr 19, 2013 6:05 am

    GrinTwist wrote:Hard to share, constant anger.

    This is hard to do, because people intimidate me actually everyone intimidates me. My family, friends, and even you. I can't help it ever since I was a kid people scared me to death, up until being 8 years old I barely talked to anyone.

    There have only been a few select people that I've trusted with only one left and still tell that person very little about me. Actually, this would be the first time I'll openly admit to the fact that I might be a transsexual. I've only seen myself content in a woman's body. It's because of that that I can barely find myself content on where I am now. I hate who I am.

    That's not the problem I've recently struggled with. I'm somewhat of a misanthrope too. I don't exactly hate people as much as I dislike a lot of their qualities though. I'm able to contain it, I've always been able to keep my anger closed up. I just hate this feeling that I'm missing out on meeting people because I can't stop finding all their negative qualities.

    I try my best to keep myself from hating other people and what they do but it's hard. The only help I've been able to find is that this anger will go away in time, and I hope it does because I don't want to think that this anger is going to carry out throughout the rest of my life.


    Grin, you are who you see yourself as. Just know that you are not alone, not in identifying as the opposite sex, nor as a misanthrope. I can't help much on the transsexual part except by offering my support. You are who you see yourself as, and that person should be someone beautiful and amazing.

    As for your inability to oversee negative qualities of others, try actively seeing the positive instead. It's been proven that it's not that we're kind to those we like, but we like those we're kind with.

    Mr. Tart wrote:Yesterday i questioned whether i was still "human" or not, as i felt completely numb when i found out that Richard died. But today, right now, in the middle of class, i had tears streaming down my face. I haven't cried in a few years now.
    We're here for you Tart. Again, condolences, if you need someone to talk to I'm here for you buddy.

    reim0027 wrote:See a psychiatrist. Feel better. Take care of you.
    Very very wise words. Everyone should live by them.
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    Post by Mr. Tart Fri Apr 19, 2013 6:21 am

    GrinTwist wrote:Hard to share, constant anger.

    This is hard to do, because people intimidate me actually everyone intimidates me. My family, friends, and even you. I can't help it ever since I was a kid people scared me to death, up until being 8 years old I barely talked to anyone.

    There have only been a few select people that I've trusted with only one left and still tell that person very little about me. Actually, this would be the first time I'll openly admit to the fact that I might be a transsexual. I've only seen myself content in a woman's body. It's because of that that I can barely find myself content on where I am now. I hate who I am.

    That's not the problem I've recently struggled with. I'm somewhat of a misanthrope too. I don't exactly hate people as much as I dislike a lot of their qualities though. I'm able to contain it, I've always been able to keep my anger closed up. I just hate this feeling that I'm missing out on meeting people because I can't stop finding all their negative qualities.

    I try my best to keep myself from hating other people and what they do but it's hard. The only help I've been able to find is that this anger will go away in time, and I hope it does because I don't want to think that this anger is going to carry out throughout the rest of my life.


    I'm not really in the best state to give others advice, but i'll do it anyway. Life's hard, we both know that. People will treat you badly, people will treat you well. It will never be easy, but you have to keep trying, and you have to stand for your beliefs. If ever someone pushes you down or judges you for what you believe or what, then they're not worth your time and respect.

    I recognize pretty much everything you said, minus the transsexual part. And i'll be honest here, i believe that you should be happy with who you are, and not try to change it, whether you plan to or not. But that is my opinion, and it shouldn't affect you. If you believe yourself to be a woman, then be one. If you can't achieve it, then try to look at your life and see the positive in it. Try to appreciate what you already have and live with it.

    My mind is slightly elsewhere right now, but i hope what i'm writing actually has anything helpful to offer to you, and i also realize that everything i've said now proves that i'm nothing but a hypocrite.

    I know most people say this, and i know more than average thank you for it but never offer it, but i'll say it anyway. If you wish to talk, we can. I may not be a very happy person myself, and in some ways we are alike i suppose, but i won't let that ruin things for you. I wish to cheer you up if you need me. In fact, i believe that perhaps, talking to someone in a similar situation could help you in some way.

    As for hating people but fighting it. I've been there, and i'm almost getting back there again. My suggestion is to find something to express your anger. Something creative. If you don't already, try writing poems/texts/lyrics, paint, make sculptures or anything of the like. Get your emotions out with your creativity.

    One more thing. If you are shy, and you wish to accept my offer, or someone elses, then try to fight it. It will be hard, but if you really want it, then do it. Take some time to think over it all, and do it. Contact one of us, accept our offer to talk, and we'll be there for you.

    As far as me, i'm no good talker, but i'm a good listener. I may perhaps even become annoying and say things that sound wrong, but i always mean well, and i'm always there to help. This goes for anyone, not just Grin.

    I'd also like to thank everyone for the nice comments i've been getting these past few days. It's really hard, but i appreciate it all. I really do. Thank you.
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    Post by lonewolf Fri Apr 19, 2013 6:29 am

    Mr. Tart wrote:
    GrinTwist wrote:Hard to share, constant anger.

    This is hard to do, because people intimidate me actually everyone intimidates me. My family, friends, and even you. I can't help it ever since I was a kid people scared me to death, up until being 8 years old I barely talked to anyone.

    There have only been a few select people that I've trusted with only one left and still tell that person very little about me. Actually, this would be the first time I'll openly admit to the fact that I might be a transsexual. I've only seen myself content in a woman's body. It's because of that that I can barely find myself content on where I am now. I hate who I am.

    That's not the problem I've recently struggled with. I'm somewhat of a misanthrope too. I don't exactly hate people as much as I dislike a lot of their qualities though. I'm able to contain it, I've always been able to keep my anger closed up. I just hate this feeling that I'm missing out on meeting people because I can't stop finding all their negative qualities.

    I try my best to keep myself from hating other people and what they do but it's hard. The only help I've been able to find is that this anger will go away in time, and I hope it does because I don't want to think that this anger is going to carry out throughout the rest of my life.


    I'm not really in the best state to give others advice, but i'll do it anyway. Life's hard, we both know that. People will treat you badly, people will treat you well. It will never be easy, but you have to keep trying, and you have to stand for your beliefs. If ever someone pushes you down or judges you for what you believe or what, then they're not worth your time and respect.

    I recognize pretty much everything you said, minus the transsexual part. And i'll be honest here, i believe that you should be happy with who you are, and not try to change it, whether you plan to or not. But that is my opinion, and it shouldn't affect you. If you believe yourself to be a woman, then be one. If you can't achieve it, then try to look at your life and see the positive in it. Try to appreciate what you already have and live with it.

    My mind is slightly elsewhere right now, but i hope what i'm writing actually has anything helpful to offer to you, and i also realize that everything i've said now proves that i'm nothing but a hypocrite.

    I know most people say this, and i know more than average thank you for it but never offer it, but i'll say it anyway. If you wish to talk, we can. I may not be a very happy person myself, and in some ways we are alike i suppose, but i won't let that ruin things for you. I wish to cheer you up if you need me. In fact, i believe that perhaps, talking to someone in a similar situation could help you in some way.

    As for hating people but fighting it. I've been there, and i'm almost getting back there again. My suggestion is to find something to express your anger. Something creative. If you don't already, try writing poems/texts/lyrics, paint, make sculptures or anything of the like. Get your emotions out with your creativity.

    One more thing. If you are shy, and you wish to accept my offer, or someone elses, then try to fight it. It will be hard, but if you really want it, then do it. Take some time to think over it all, and do it. Contact one of us, accept our offer to talk, and we'll be there for you.

    As far as me, i'm no good talker, but i'm a good listener. I may perhaps even become annoying and say things that sound wrong, but i always mean well, and i'm always there to help. This goes for anyone, not just Grin.

    I'd also like to thank everyone for the nice comments i've been getting these past few days. It's really hard, but i appreciate it all. I really do. Thank you.
    i am not well known here but i just want to say i have a bad past myself so in anny of you to want to talk to me about the bad things that have happend to you i am a great listener but i am also going to help you get the agresion out in anny way i can.
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    Post by LunarFog Fri Apr 19, 2013 11:15 am

    ...eh. what the hell. I'll give this thread a shot.

    Sometimes I think I picked up a narcissism complex to protect myself from insecurities.
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    Post by WhatDoesThePendantDo? Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:14 pm

    That's what a lot of narcissists do, Lunar. I believe we all have insecurities, how we choose to cope with them, however, differs. I hope that you can find a way to conquer your insecurities, whatever they may be.
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    Post by User1 Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:31 pm

    That goes to anyone, Tart?

    In my honest opinion, you should cry, hell, I'm 29, and I cry. No need to be ashamed, I have felt that numb pain before.

    But, I find you a good person to talk to. If you have Skype, that would be good.

    Sincerely,

    -Para
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    Post by Mr. Tart Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:45 pm

    I do have skype: Eric Nylén Johansson

    The offer stands for ANYONE. And i never meant to say the crying was bad. In fact, i'm happy about it. Not that he died and all that, but that i finally feel slightly more human again. I was starting to doubt whether i even had emotions anymore. Whether i valued my friends and family or not. This is proof that i'm not entirely gone. That there's still something left to me.

    I managed to hold most of it inside when i was at school. But once i got home i just cried for one hour. It felt good getting all that crap out of the system. I also found something out. I've become too dependant on music. My emotions are "attached" to it. I have a hard time expressing myself, but with music i can. I knew this already, more or less, but i didn't think it was that serious.

    All in all, i do feel a little bit better now than a few days ago.
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    Post by User1 Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:47 pm

    Well, it's good to know you feel better now, if anything.

    And, I found that, while we had a nice, 14 page long discussion in the jukebox thread, the music attached seemed to give off a more jubilant attitude, from my end.
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    Post by Mr. Tart Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:50 pm

    RenegadeCop wrote:Well, it's good to know you feel better now, if anything.

    And, I found that, while we had a nice, 14 page long discussion in the jukebox thread, the music attached seemed to give off a more jubilant attitude, from my end.

    I hereby claim that me and ParagonCop set the record for amount of pages discussing music. silly
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    Post by User1 Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:52 pm

    So, so true. silly
    RenegadeTart did a good job of finding all the music too.
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    Post by densetsushun Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:58 pm

    I'm glad to hear you're feeling better Tart. big grin
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    Post by reim0027 Fri Apr 19, 2013 10:20 pm

    Mr. Tart wrote:I do have skype: Eric Nylén Johansson

    Sent you a contact request.
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    Post by Mr. Tart Fri Apr 19, 2013 10:21 pm

    Accepted it.
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    Post by reim0027 Sat Apr 20, 2013 12:49 am

    Right on. Hurrah
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    Post by Slarg232 Sat Apr 20, 2013 4:04 am

    Can anyone please tell me why we are celebrating Boston going into martial law for a SUSPECT in the Marathon Bombing, based upon the testimony of a man who lost both his legs and is now on so many drugs that he can't even think straight?
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    Post by JohnnyHarpoon Sat Apr 20, 2013 5:55 am

    Slarg232 wrote:Can anyone please tell me why we are celebrating Boston going into martial law for a SUSPECT in the Marathon Bombing, based upon the testimony of a man who lost both his legs and is now on so many drugs that he can't even think straight?

    Because everyone is innocent until proven guilty, so he can't be more than a suspect until he is tried, and this particular suspect is suspected to have been responsible for building and detonating several bomb-type devices, for four fatalities, for causing physical harm to over a hundred innocent people who were spectators and participants in an international event as well as police officers, not to mention for mental/emotional harm to probably thousands, directly and indirectly.

    To break it down even further, the implications of all these things are that this suspect was potentially armed with guns and explosives, which he was willing to not only use, but use to hurt random people with the hopes of ending their lives.

    So, while I would generally agree with Benjamin Franklin when he said, "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety," I can't help but think that the efforts today were about more than getting the guy they think did stuff, and maybe, at their core, were efforts to preserve both liberty and safety not only in Boston and Watertown, but throughout the entire nation. And that any festivity in the air is not a praise of martial law, but a celebration of life itself.
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    Post by EeAyEss Sat Apr 20, 2013 5:31 pm

    I loathe humanity. The individual person I can learn to care for and love, but humanity as a whole is disgusting. They are selfish and moronic to the point of me asking, "Why in the name of God are you allowed to have internet? Why aren't you locked in your room? Why are you shown the light of day you piece of worthless, utter trash?" I have a very hard time coming to love humanity.

    I understand that anonymity is an extremely powerful force on the internet, but I can't help but wonder why this crap happens? Why do people seem to not care about their fellow humans? Why? I hate humanity, but I'm not going to start a hate campaign. I'll help people, I'll try to converse, but I really will hate it until I get to know you as a person. I don't run around pointing fingers and claiming a certain facet of theology that someone has devoted their lives to is false and insipid. I don't go bashing people's lifestyles (well, I do my fair share of hating on #YOLOSWAG idiots, but that's private. Mostly.)

    I just... don't get why people have no empathy. No sympathy, no compassion, nothing that redeems us as humans. Why is the most shown side of humanity the most appalling, disgusting, worthless side? Why can't people try to be good?

    Man, *** humanity. I'll continue to care, I'll continue to try to empathize and sympathize, to offer charity to those less blessed than I, those in worse off positions in life than I. But it will be permanently stained a little black.
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    Post by User1 Sat Apr 20, 2013 5:35 pm

    I seem to have a lot of humanity, by those standards. I donate to 3 charities weekly, I give money to the homeless, I cry and sympathise and respect and empathise for those who are either in a bad position, have had a hard time, have had a troubled past life, such as childhood, and I also despise people who make fun of others in any way at all. I never see the funny side in making fun of others. Where's the appeal to it?
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    Post by Mr. Tart Sat Apr 20, 2013 5:40 pm

    EeAyEss wrote:I loathe humanity. The individual person I can learn to care for and love, but humanity as a whole is disgusting. They are selfish and moronic to the point of me asking, "Why in the name of God are you allowed to have internet? Why aren't you locked in your room? Why are you shown the light of day you piece of worthless, utter trash?" I have a very hard time coming to love humanity.

    I understand that anonymity is an extremely powerful force on the internet, but I can't help but wonder why this crap happens? Why do people seem to not care about their fellow humans? Why? I hate humanity, but I'm not going to start a hate campaign. I'll help people, I'll try to converse, but I really will hate it until I get to know you as a person. I don't run around pointing fingers and claiming a certain facet of theology that someone has devoted their lives to is false and insipid. I don't go bashing people's lifestyles (well, I do my fair share of hating on #YOLOSWAG idiots, but that's private. Mostly.)

    I just... don't get why people have no empathy. No sympathy, no compassion, nothing that redeems us as humans. Why is the most shown side of humanity the most appalling, disgusting, worthless side? Why can't people try to be good?

    Man, *** humanity. I'll continue to care, I'll continue to try to empathize and sympathize, to offer charity to those less blessed than I, those in worse off positions in life than I. But it will be permanently stained a little black.

    I feel the same way. IMO the best thing that could happen to Earth is if humanity was just wiped out.

    The best thing we can really do is to be better than them. What i usually do is i try to avoid hating humanity, and just look down on it. It's one step away from being like everyone else if you ask me.
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    Post by ResIsBestStat Sat Apr 20, 2013 5:45 pm

    This....this is what the gods feared....
    They feared humans....
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    Post by EeAyEss Sat Apr 20, 2013 5:45 pm

    Mr. Tart wrote:

    I feel the same way. IMO the best thing that could happen to Earth is if humanity was just wiped out.

    The best thing we can really do is to be better than them. What i usually do is i try to avoid hating humanity, and just look down on it. It's one step away from being like everyone else if you ask me.

    That's where I'm not totally "hollow" as it were. I still have the slightest hope that someday humanity will regain its sense of morals. Or at least a bigger portion will become caring people, or at least more open about it if they already are.

    I don't mean to call you "hollow" Tart. Just trying to keep it "light."
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    Post by ResIsBestStat Sat Apr 20, 2013 5:45 pm

    dat fail quote
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    Post by ResIsBestStat Sat Apr 20, 2013 5:46 pm

    omg wtf
    it came back up!
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    Post by Tolvo Sat Apr 20, 2013 5:48 pm

    Also in regards to the large manhunt for him, they didn't plan to go to that level. However when an arrest attempt was made bombs were thrown at the police in the streets, showing a complete lack of care on their end for their lives, the lives of the officers, or the civilians nearby. Technically we don't know if they did bomb that marathon or not, however they definitely did use explosive devices and wouldn't hesitate to use them.

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