Crazy Stories Thread

Alright, so I imagine we all have some interesting stories of situations we've been through in our real lives. Not Dark Souls, but with our flesh, bones, and empty eye sockets. Now then I'd love it if we could keep it on the humorous side. Just so we could avoid, "I once had a sister, she ran across the street after her dog and got killed by a bus. I remember cradling the remains of her torso crying as the ambulance arrived." While that is comedy gold let's try and keep it on the side of things everyone will find humorous.

Alright, so this one times some friends and I were in Chicago. They wanted to watch some band perform, a memory which I blanked out because I don't like music. Anyway after the show we went to a chinese place. It was pretty good, great Pizza, great Knots, garlic knots too. Anyway, before we left my friend Greg asked for his food to go, and they gave us tupper ware. So, for some reason he just filled it with soy sauce. We walked around a bit and asked him about it, to which he apparently didn't even know he did it. So he opened it and saw the soy sauce, perplexed. So we laughed a bit, when greg nodded and said. "Guys, I'm gonna eat the soy sauce." Before we could tell him not to, he chugged the whole thing just gulping it. He sniffed, then jumped back slamming into a brick wall head first. He hit the ground and twitched for a few moments before he opened his eyes and we helped him up. Then, from across the street there was actually the band they had come to see. And one of the members yelled, "Hey retard, what the *** is wrong with you, you stupid ****!" And we of course had to hold Greg back from getting in a fight after just blacking out. To this day, none of us at all have any clue why he did it, not even Greg. And that, is the soy sauce story.

Funny story.

Though based on you first paragraph it sounds like the time me and my friends were taken hostage at gun point wouldn't work here?

If one of you gets hit by the gun in the testes, it is allowed.

Tolvo wrote:If one of you gets hit by the gun in the testes, it is allowed.

Lol no. The story involves drugs, guns and a girl getting body slammed, ought to see if any of it is against the rules first. Overall its more so a crazy story then a funny one.

A few years back there was a increase in the amount of people eating WizzFizz (Australian version of fun dip or something). But of course every one is stupid, so people where snorting random stuff for money. A guy snorted a bit of popcorn and it ended up getting stuck halfway up his nose, a lot of coughing and yelling was involved (he did this for $1), a girl sniffed pepper for $5 dollars, she would not stop sneezing and complaining about the pain. I also being mentally unstable decided to sniff sugar for $3, the stinging in my nostrols was unbearable and the annoying never ending sweetness at the back of my throat was killing me. My friend whom came to Australia from South Africa had never heard of WizzFizz so he sniffed a huge glob for $15, he sniffed it then ended up rolling on the floor in pain with fizzy blood spurting out of his nose he was also coughing up blood while crying in pain. He whent to the hospital later and was absent for a week or so, with bandages covering his nose.
Yep, teenagers are silly things indeed.

I remember that phase. Some guy in my english class snorted sugar (I think, not entirely sure) in classs for laughs. He spent the rest of the day sneezing his head off. Made for a good video too. And then there was the time my friend snuck into the principals office to plank on his desk (we had super strict administartion, and they already hated him for similar incidents). And thats all I got. Aprt from this time I was fighting one of our giant spiders and (You know the rest ).

Dark Souls PRO wrote:A few years back there was a increase in the amount of people eating WizzFizz (Australian version of fun dip or something). But of course every one is stupid, so people where snorting random stuff for money. A guy snorted a bit of popcorn and it ended up getting stuck halfway up his nose, a lot of coughing and yelling was involved (he did this for $1), a girl sniffed pepper for $5 dollars, she would not stop sneezing and complaining about the pain. I also being mentally unstable decided to sniff sugar for $3, the stinging in my nostrols was unbearable and the annoying never ending sweetness at the back of my throat was killing me. My friend whom came to Australia from South Africa had never heard of WizzFizz so he sniffed a huge glob for $15, he sniffed it then ended up rolling on the floor in pain with fizzy blood spurting out of his nose he was also coughing up blood while crying in pain. He whent to the hospital later and was absent for a week or so, with bandages covering his nose.
Yep, teenagers are silly things indeed.

Everything I've ever snorted cost money and got me really high. Who is more stupid?

I broke my Grandma's car by falling drunk from a tree once. I would elaborate but it would only involve an introduction and a tonne of description to lengthen the pain and whatnot.

Digitalyzed wrote:I broke my Grandma's car by falling drunk from a tree once. I would elaborate but it would only involve an introduction and a tonne of description to lengthen the pain and whatnot.

Go for it.

Okay then, but I can't promise the works of Shakespeare...

I take you to my Grandma's household, during the blazingly hot summer (I'm talking twenty something degrees, and that's hot here) of 2009. I was sixteen at the time, and my Grandmother's large house in the outer suburbs of East Croydon provided little in the way of entertainment. The highlight to the week I spent there would be the arrival of my equal aged cousins after school every day (The holidays start later in England). During this story, we were located outside on one sunny afternoon, attempting to preoccupy ourselves with a task more interesting than throwing water bombs at passing cars, one of which had previously stopped and the driver chased us. It was while sitting outside on the grass, that my cousin, two days older than me, decided we needed to hav a party. It was a random thought, but intersting to four bored teenagers regardless of any consequences. So we decided, it was on, that night.

Evening came, and my grandmother and parents went out into the bustling streets of London in order to see a movie and eat soem chinese food or something. We invited friends of my cousins round, and more of my cousins who were two years older at the time. The house party started of decent, though with only beer available we weren't getting smashed anytime soon. I'll skip some of the larking around and whatnot and get to the startling discovery later in the night.

See, my Gran had several old cupboards of alcohol, that she never touched (Or probably knew existed) due to medical conditions, which required pills which may conflict with the ethanol. It was in one of these cupboards, in which my cousin uncovered what must have been just under twenty litres of vodka. We went mad. From there on it was one of those cliche hazes you get during a good night, but that takes us to the fateful moment, up the tree.

At my Grans house, in the front garden beside the driveway, stood a massive tree (It was taken down about a year ago). It was a large conifer, but not quite a pine tree if you know what I mean. It had branches suited prefectly for climbing the tree right up to the top, to sit on the "stump" near the top where the tree had been cut to shorten it. Me and five others ended up here, drinking and playing dares while we were at it. We had drunk about half of the vodka by now, so we weere right out of it, and so when someone dared me to do a flip ontop of the "stump", I was up for it. I readied myself, and jumped forward, my foot slipping on the tree stump, launching me much too far forward. I flew forwards, finding myself over the driveway, zooming towards my Gran's red Ford. As I collided with the car, my last thoughts were something along the lines of "Who's got my drink?".

My gran and parents came home an hour or so later, and found me lying in the crumpled remains of her car. Needless to say I didn't get left alone there again for a while.

HAHAHA! Surprised you didn't die.

So am I. I learnt my lesson though, and now drink more than ever, just not up trees.

One time I was fishing off the Jupiter pier, and this was back when I didn't take great care of myself (I still don't really, but it's light-years better than what it used to be), so it was night fishing and I was going on about 40 hrs. of no sleep. And if you've ever been in one of those places, you know it's probably not the best place for a sleep deprived, has not eaten for almost a day, and coming off a residual high teenager to be in.

So we're there for a little over an hour (me and my friends) and we're fishing, nothing too crazy going, until I throw out another cast, slip on the slippery deck, go tumbling through a weakened portion of the wooden railing, and damn go crashing down 60 ft. into the dark ocean water. I managed to not fall because I hooked the sturdy edge of the pier with my foot quickly before I was able to get turn myself around and grab hold of the deck and be pulled to safety.

It was one of the most frightening experiences of my life, but luckily nothing came of it. My rod was lost, however...

My brother and a friend went fishing once in a pit at the bottom of a steep incline. My brother had a bike and his friend had a fishing rod etc. This may not seem relevant and it isn't really except that after a while they swopped. My brother got the rod & his mate had a go on my brother's bike (this is in the days when kids didn't get everything they wanted just by asking for it) Anyway my brother had never tried fishing before so he just went for it and launched the line as hard as he could back over his shoulder to cast. It stuck so he pulled hard. Next thing he knew there was this horrible gobbling noise and the line came free and when it landed there was a male hen attached to it. The line had gone over a hedge at the top of the bank, into a farmyard and hooked a male hen. The farmer wasn't best pleased, said that if the bird was badly hurt it would cost my brother ten bob, whereupon he (my brother not the farmer) burst into tears (ten bob was more money than he'd seen in his life!) and the farmer relented. Oh and by the way the bird wasn't badly hurt, it just had a sore beak for a while.

Yay. Another fishing story. I thought I had killed the thread with my bad story...

And that's lucky for your brother and that chicken that things happened the way they did, Slake.

I can't believe that the english word for a male hen had to be censored just because the first part might be misconstrued as having a sexual connotation. How sad. Hopefully some of you will be able to deduce what the word was from this ****erel.

****

So about a 4 years ago my and 3 of my friends, Dave (Dope) , Matt (German) and Kenjo (Hellmode) had a genius idea of going paintballing! We got like 13 more people we know to join in and after a fun day out we stayed behind. The paintball thing was in a private forest and the equipment was kept in a building that had a changing room, w.c. and a small shop but as we were all grownups (not mentally) we dident realy have a supervisor. So... at bout 7pm we got out the changing rooms and we hed to Matt's car still holding the fully loaded guns, Matt opens the back with a banana like smile on hes face and there 3 bottles of vodka, 2 bottles of cola and a bottle of sake. After that i only remember parts but i woke up in a hospital with my friends in the same room with paint and bruses all over our body... After a week in hospital we got out and got a hold of a cctv recording of us drunk out of our heads shooting eachother without protective gear!! The funniest part was when Dave pased out and we just kept shooting him in the ***... :shock: oh.. my friends are so *** up

This one time when I was hanging out with a few of my friends (Sandy, Mario and Elvis) right after they got high off their *** and the "munchies" settled in we all went to taco bell, me being the only sober one in the group I knew that if was a ***ing bad idea but went along for the ride. The first thing that went wrong was the fact that the moment we walk into taco bell they were being loud as **** and laughing on stop and everybody was starring at us, the worst person out of them all was the old Asian clerk, who instantly put her hand on her forehead and starting to sigh. After I got all my friends to sit down and figure out what they wanted to eat, I went and order it up while all I heard was them laughing their asses off again, the old Asian clerk gave me the worst evil I have ever received then me the 3 drinks I ordered. About five minutes later of having everyone in the store stare at us our orders were ready so I went to get them, the moment I turned around I saw a a good sized pile of hot sauce on our table and the 3 goof balls looking at me like staving animals. When we all done eating they wanted more food vus they order more, thats when Dayza shows up with a taco bell drive thru bag, saying she heard us in here via drive thru thats when the three come back with more food for all of us, Sandy realized our drink was empty so she got to refill it when she knocked over Mario's and Elvis's drinks making a big mess and Mario then grab all of the paper towels they had and threw them on the table and floor and started to clean up. Moments later the old Asian clerk comes by calling all of us something in some Asian language that I couldn't Identify, thats when Dayza just got up and toke off. After getting the three stogies into the car and apologized for my friends and gave a good amount of money to their fund raiser she just smile and said come again as I left. NOW HERES THE BEST PART, right after I got in the car, I saw everyone who was in there the whole time leave with big *** smiles on their faces and thats when I realized we just entertained them for an hour/made their day for about 20 or so people, couldn't help but burst out into laughing after that

now everytime I go there with Sandy to eat, The old Asian clerk smiles at me and says "so whats you going to destroy today"

Ahh, those Taco Bell runs of youth. How I remember them fondly, despite me not even liking Taco Bell.

Alright, so another tale about Greg might be entertaining. Let me tell you the story, of the worst excuse I've ever heard.

Alright, so at the college campus we were waiting for an elevator on a non-busy day, so the hall was empty. While we were standing there my one friend scratched his butt, he's a guy. Greg, greg saw this so instantly asked him about it. Now normally, his butt just itched. But my friend felt like giving a sarcastic answer, so he made up a story about how he had a bad rash. Greg for some reason then asked to see it, to which we both asked why and he told us he was interested in medicine, out of the blue, and wanted to make sure he was alright. So I turn away because I frankly don't feel like seeing man *** when I don't have to, and my friend pulls down his pants mooning Greg. Greg then yells, "Oh my god, that's your ***!" To which Lance cracks up, and I start laughing too. Greg threatens to beat us both up as we laugh our asses off, and eventually we ask him why he even looked to which he replied, "I thought there was a rash!" We asked him a few times what he was even thinking, but he stuck by his "Rash" explanation. That guy, he is so weird, but such a lovable chum.

i dont realy remember this story as its a story my dad tells my like every single time i see him but when i was realy little i loved Steve Irwin he was like my childhood hero and it was a gaint kick in de balls when he...well... u know ,my uncle at that time owned a rather large snake and 1 day when i was at hes house the 5 year old me let it out of the cage and simply walked off not telling any1... it was all fun till i forgot about it and the next day the snake was found slowly eating my uncle's pet gunipigs well he ate all 3 to be persist XD