barring a miracle, this is farwell

This song is about bullying, but it cheers me whenever I am down.

Do not give up Rynn! Not now. I can feel in my heart that live will still surprise you, good things comes to those who wait, I'm sure of it, I've experienced this.

For now on, keep talking to us, to your friends. In this community I've seen a big number of people that comes to talk to us, about them being depressed, about how hard is life. Yes, tough indeed. But after speaking for a bit, they cheer up. There so much to live for! People share their experiences and hear other similar experiences and remember that they are not alone, we're all on this together after all!

I do not know you well, but I know people who have attempted suicide and I myself have pondered it many times. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. There are people who care about you no matter what. Even at your loneliest times you always have a companion who thinks fondly of you somewhere. When suicide is successful, it is a sorrowful thing for everyone, and when it is unsuccessful, it is also sorrowful. Any way you slice it, there is no honor in suicide. We all bear some kind of pain, and, some of us bear much more pain than others. But going out by suicide only causes sorrow and often times shame to those closest to the victim. I am bipolar and I hate everything and myself often, but I know suicide will not do me or those around me any service. Your life is precious! Please call the SPH or talk to a preist, rabbi, guru, or any person of faith! I hope I am not too late.

I'm going to give you advice in the only way a adolescent Irishman can:
I want you to take a step back, look at yourself, and see how utterly ridiculous your reaction to whatever is troubling you is. I refuse to believe you are idiotic enough to consider suicide as a viable option, and that's a compliment before you start wondering. When I first tried to kill myself, I almost laughed it off the next day - it was *** stupid! I was going to do something horribly irreversible just because I was a moody teenage ****! 
Try talking to people. It may not seem like it in your depression-fuelled suicidal moments, but there are people who care for you, will help you, want to help you! Talk to us, talk to your family, talk to someone!

What if I do it too?

WhatDoesThePendantDo? wrote:What if I do it too?

What?

I think whoever downrepped Pendent is misunderstanding what he's trying to say.

That was me Plastic.
Sorry if I misunderstood your post Pendant but you didn't quote anything else to suggest you were referring to something other than suicide, or further explain on your statement.

I downvoted for two reasons:
This is in Off-Topic, so it is my understanding it won't affect your reputation and is simply there to show how people react to the post.
As I did take it for face value (maybe shouldn't have) that is how I feel about it. I know more than a few people here have/struggle with deppression, and while I think its cool to be able to relate to people on the edge, I was a little taken aback when I read that.

Apologies again Pendant, as it seems I've misunderstood.

I read it as: well what if I did it too? How would you feel about that? Meaning an attempt to illustrate the affect it has on other people. I could be wrong, but I think that's what he was saying.

PlasticandRage wrote:I read it as: well what if I did it too? How would you feel about that? Meaning an attempt to illustrate the affect it has on other people. I could be wrong, but I think that's what he was saying.

This is 100% correct. And I have no issue with you, Hart. I don't really care about rep, you voted the way you felt, that's what it's there for. Especially in Off-Topic.

It's a good point too. That's what initially brought me back from the brink. When you hurt yourself you're not just hurting yourself, but you're also hurting everyone that cares about you. My addiction was killing my poor mother, and was definitely having a profound affect on my brother. The whole thing aged my mother. I can still see it today. I'll never forget the first time I noticed it. She came to my door to plead with me to get help at a point when I was still denying it. She'd noticed track marks a few weeks earlier when we'd gone to run errands together. I could see it in her face. It was the first time she ever looked old to me. I couldn't live with it. I cleaned up for myself more than anything else, but that was the instigating moment without a doubt. I can certainly say that I've personally felt the effects of suicide also. My best friend growing up did a tour in Afghanistan, having enlisted after 9/11, and when he came back he wasn't the same man. He tried to confide in me a few times, but he had a lot of trouble talking about it. He saw a lot of things he couldn't handle. A lot of brutality and horror. He ended up shooting himself a few months after he came home. I still live with that pain. Definitely one of the closest people in the world to me. It's a permanent solution to problems that in the major gist of things, in the scope of the entirety of your life, can be temporary.

Rynn wrote:I'm still strongly considering this...

I'm never very good with words, which is why I usually don't say anything in threads like this because I'm afraid what I'll say will hurt more than it will help due to some bad wording or phrasing on my end.  However I feel confident enough that I can't mess up what I'm thinking now:

I was genuinely afraid that you weren't going to post again after your opening post.  Seeing you post again after your opening post was the most relieving thing I've experienced since my younger sister came home after running away for 4 months.  No matter what happens, don't take the end into your own hands because there are always people who care about you, and while we may not know you in person and might just seem like faceless entities behind internet avatars, hopefully you understand that we all here are genuinely your friends

If you are reading this thread and you have not called 911 yet, please do so.  Especially if you know Rynn's name, location, etc., any useful information you can provide.

tact  
/takt/

Noun Adroitness and sensitivity in dealing with others or with difficult issues.

Synonyms delicacy - finesse

I agree with Sat and crb (and many others too).  If you can physically stop Rynn from doing this, please do it.  Rynn, seek professional help.  Depression is not about being sad.  Depression may stem from your brain not making enough "happy hormones" (such as dopamine).  Please see a doctor and hopefully they can help you sort this out.

Rynn don't you dare do this. Please do not take yourself away from us.
Everyone in this forum loves to talk and play with you. Everyone also has their ups and downs. Right now you are down and you need a solution. Suicide isn't it. It never is. Talk to your family and friends.
Call professional help or your doctor. Find something you like to do to take your mind off of these thoughts like games, writing, reading, or even exercising.
None of us wants you to do it. We want you to stay with us.
I don't know what else to say that hasn't already been said but I hope to see you here again.

Ok, I'm not going to lie, these suicide threads are starting to piss me off, and I'm going to say this. If this gets me banned, so be it. We do care about you. I like talking to people, and people killing themselves gives me less people to talk to, so I don't like people killing themselves.


However, I have to ask: have you even tried to figure out why you would want to kill yourself? Is your family abusive? Do you not have any friends? Are you getting bullied? What is it?

Life is quite a ton like Dark Souls; to quote Rocky "Let me tell you something you already know; the world is a mean and nasty place. And I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you down on your knees and keep you there if you let it." Just like Dark Souls, the World isn't exactly an easy place to be, but if you can make it through the entire thing, there is a sense of accomplishment.


Furthermore, just like Dark Souls, if life isn't the way you want it to be, YOU have the power to change it. Don't have any friends? Make some. Getting bullied? Forget about him. Abusive parents? Get away from them (Through legal means). Depressed? Get to the doctor.


To continue to quote Rocky, "This kid is gonna be the best kid in the world, better than anyone ever knew. But somewhere along the line, he changed. He stopped being you. He let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good...... You, you're a nobody, ain't gonna hit as hard as life. It ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can GET hit and keep moving forward."


When I was still in high school, I was so bullied that I went into a deep, deep depression, so much so that I started to consider suicide. I had no friends, and the teachers wouldn't help me for fear of playing favorites because I was the secretary's son. When my parents moved me to a different school, I found myself alienated and bullied because I "Wasn't from around here", along with the fact that I was a complete and utter douchebag because I didn't feel I could trust anyone; I would just end up getting hurt again. All the while, living like a machine, doing the mundane tasks of living as though some chore.


You know what I did? Went to college, stopped being a douchebag, and made some friends. My life was finally in MY hands. I suggest you put yours into your own; find what makes you depressed, and get rid of it.


You want to know what I am doing now that I am not depressed, and had the courage to stay alive?? What I am doing the very moment I get done typing this up? My friend and I are going to Skype, because we know how to make a fething flying Car. You didn't read that wrong, give us five years and flying cars will be reality*. I can make gasoline from Water. I have a hammer that can be swung with enough force to pierce through a CAR (Least I did, before the damn thing broke....). People tell me I can't do something, and I proved them wrong! Hell, I've also theoretically proven to people with Doctorates that you actually CAN reanimate a "dead" body a la Frankenstein#. 


I've taken the worst this world has thrown at me, and have turned it into a strength; I stick my middle finger up and say "Do you worst, because I have not yet begun to show you mine!" I've been stretched to my breaking point, and decided to just pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep moving forward, because to quote Rocky yet again "That's how Winning is done."


So here we are, Rynn. You've been beaten, bruised, and broken. You have three choices; give up and end it all, lay there beaten and broken, or pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and become a far greater man than anyone not in your current position could ever dream of.


Think of anything you can do, anything you love to do, master it, and become it. Do you like Art? Pick up a brush and start expressing yourself! Like music? Go to a guitar center and go into lessons! Do you enjoy cooking? Start cooking! Don't know what the feth you want to do? You're in the best position yet; go out and start doing ANYTHING!


It'll be hard, nothing worth doing ever isn't. But look at you; You've beaten the hardest video game on the market. You've been pushed to your breaking point several times over, and you've cheated Death itself NINE TIMES. What can the world POSSIBLY do to you now? Every time you fall down on your face, just get back up, tell the world "*** you!" and keep moving forward.


You're the star of the show, baby, and as Freddie Mercury (While he was both *** in a much more prejudiced time, and dying of AIDs) once said, "The Show must go on!"





I've said what I needed to say, if I get banned, so be it.




* Don't ask me about it, I'm not letting anyone steal our idea.

# It's kinda like theoretically proving you can walk on water (Really, all you would need to be able to do is run fast enough to only just break the waves before you  have your foot off the "ground" again). I.E, totally do-able but in practice near impossible; first you have to have all the body parts, they all have to be compatible with the same blood type, everything has to be put together in under an hour, the heart and brain both have to be taken before either truly "dies" while in the original body and then put in the new body, brain damage is pretty much guaranteed, and a whole slew of other problems. Again, impractical, but not impossible. We already "bring people back to life" with defibulators. All that's missing is just putting their heart/brain into another body before you shock them.

I think a bit of sensitivity is necessary in this thread: Depression and suicide isn't just feeling particularly down or frustrated about any or everything, it takes a specific feeling hopelessness for someone to consider suicide. When someone's in a position where they consider suicide, they do not see a better outcome at all. When someone commits suicide, they have already made amends with their actions and parted with the world around them, they are single minded in their conviction to go commit suicide. I think it's good that Rynn came here with a plea for help, it means that she's not quite there yet, and that's something we can work with.

So please, be a little sensitive people, I know it isn't a pleasant topic to speak of, but it's infinitely more unpleasant for the person considering it.

i won't be killing myself. after a lot of the things i've been told in PM's, and here, and  by my family (whom found this thread today), I think i've been shown i have enough people that care about me, that the world wouldn't be better off if i went off and died.

i am terribly, terribly sorry to have troubled you all.

Wise decision, Rynn. I wish you the best, as you move forward and learn to cope with your issues.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DSIp7zyXO0

Danny Elfman puts it much better than I ever will.

Good luck.

I guess miracles do happen then

Rynn wrote:... i have enough people that care about me...

The only problem is we are not people. We are all robots...

VaDoom wrote:

Rynn wrote:... i have enough people that care about me...

The only problem is we are not people. We are all robots...

I prefer to be refered to as a Pony. 
Thanks 

Rynn wrote:i won't be killing myself. after a lot of the things i've been told in PM's, and here, and  by my family (whom found this thread today), I think i've been shown i have enough people that care about me, that the world wouldn't be better off if i went off and died.

i am terribly, terribly sorry to have troubled you all.

Don't be sorry. Just be a little better to yourself will ya?

Just found this looking for your post about font colors you mentioned in your stream (http://www.twitch.tv/flickerflare).  I'm not good at this stuff at all, so I'll just reiterate that I was glad to see you streaming again yesterday.  And after finding this; I'm extremely relieved that you're feeling better now.    As you can see you have many people who value and care for you.   I sincerely hope you won't have to struggle with these feelings anymore and wish you the very best!