barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Share
    avatar
    Rynn
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4689
    Reputation : 257
    Join date : 2012-01-26

    barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by Rynn on Wed Jun 12, 2013 4:07 am

    i know there is people here, whom care for me, so, i felt it my duty to tell you why i'm not going to be around anymore.

    Forbidding a miracle, one I don't want, btw, i'll be dead very soon. i believe that after consuming a blood thinner i am going to slit my wrists an bljr go, and i'm feeling incredibly tired now. I won't be sticking around to view any responses tonight, but... i kinda want something to mull over tomorrow before i do that.

    of note, i'm quite... bad, at this. i have 8-9 attempts on rcord, and i never seem to succeed, it seems inevitable i'll fail this time too, even though, i wish to die. if that's the case, i'll try to post a response about such tomorrow, or whenever i next have a computer, if i'm in the hospital by that point. i'll also tell you if you somehow convinced me not to.

    Yes... this is a plea for help. tbh, the last times i've posted this over my life, nothing anyone said convinced me otherwise, but i'm still hoping, because, idk.

    you've all been a big help. DS gave me something to fight for and be happy, a while, but that time is past.
    avatar
    Latitoast
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4520
    Reputation : 40
    Join date : 2013-04-03
    Age : 20
    Location : Rolling in circles while reading manga

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by Latitoast on Wed Jun 12, 2013 4:18 am

    I don't know what you're going through right now, and I may never know, but killing yourself won't help.

    I haven't spent a lot of time talking with you, and I've spent less time playing games with you, but I've enjoyed all the time I've been able to spend with you. You've been really nice, and even put up with my crappy connection to try and summon me before, which is a rare sight.

    Please, don't kill yourself, I, and I'm sure everyone on this forum don't want to see you go.

    And I'm sure that there are people in real life that don't want to see you go either.


    _________________
    Gamertag:Leon Kennedy85   LoL Summoner ID, Skype Username, Steam ID:Latitoast
    Current Covenants:Messengers of Velka, The Exiled of Ariamis, The Darkstalkers

    avatar
    Dibsville
    Abyss Dweller
    Abyss Dweller

    Posts : 9377
    Reputation : 134
    Join date : 2013-03-09
    Age : 20
    Location : Gensōkyō

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by Dibsville on Wed Jun 12, 2013 4:22 am

    There's so much to live for in your life. Death is not the answer to any problems you have. There is no reason to kill yourself, no matter what.

    Death won't solve anything. People are going to miss you. You should not take your life over something, no matter how bad it is.


    _________________
    PSN: Dibsville
    The Exiled of Ariamis; join the cause!
    EarthScraper wrote:OK, now I've just learnt that you never mess with Dibs on a Dark Souls topic, cause he will put you down.
    avatar
    Soris Ice Goldwing
    Lordvessel
    Lordvessel

    Posts : 7540
    Reputation : 74
    Join date : 2012-12-07
    Age : 22
    Location : Here, there, nowhere

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by Soris Ice Goldwing on Wed Jun 12, 2013 4:25 am

    Life is a journey of ups and downs and we all to deal with it. Death is not the answer and just leave a series of regrets and questions that will never be solved. People will miss you and to take your life will only hurt you more than you think.


    _________________
    avatar
    PlasticandRage
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 5280
    Reputation : 123
    Join date : 2012-01-27
    Age : 34
    Location : New York

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by PlasticandRage on Wed Jun 12, 2013 4:40 am

    Good lord. You're so young. Life is full of surprises. 4 years ago next month my life was hanging by a thread. The lives of serious drug addicts are cheap, so nobody really cared, including me. I wasn't actively trying to kill myself, but my death was a distinct possibility on a daily basis and I wasn't about to stop what I was doing because of that. I didn't really care about anything. Not my "friends," not my family, not myself. Nothing except where my next hit was coming from. Now, and for the last couple of years, my life is 100% different. I have goals that I'm working towards that give my life meaning and fulfillment.Things changed and I changed. Life can 180 any time. Take yourself out you never know what it may have in store for you. Something might happen tomorrow that would make you obscenely happy. You won't know unless you stick around to find out.

    You have the power to make you're life whatever you want. Just go get it. It's really as simple as that. I don't know you very well. Don't know what you're life is like. Really not at all. But I'd like to think my experiences have given me some degree of insight in these things. Sit around and stew in negativity and hate yourself then your life isn't going to go anywhere other than there. I had my reasons for being where I was, as I'm sure you do, but I made the choice to not stay there. Make the choice to have something better then go get it.


    Last edited by PlasticandRage on Wed Jun 12, 2013 4:48 am; edited 1 time in total


    _________________
    All great men have mustaches.

    TIGER UPPERCUT!

    PSN: PlasticAndRage
    avatar
    KrazykevS10
    Hollowed
    Hollowed

    Posts : 1566
    Reputation : 36
    Join date : 2013-01-28
    Age : 24
    Location : Ireland

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by KrazykevS10 on Wed Jun 12, 2013 4:48 am

    If you posted this,you obviously aren't so sure you want to die.It isn't something you should do if you have a single doubt as there is no going back.Life can seem tough or hopeless at times but isn't that the point? We all earn what happiness we have,having time where you aren't happy is normal. I'm sure you have good reason to be miserable as do I and many others on the forum but death won't change that. You may just end up realising too late all the things you regret not doing,I think that would be the most horrible feeling.

    Please talk to someone qualified to approach this first,I'm not sure how much help we can be.


    _________________
    avatar
    Hart
    Obsessed
    Obsessed

    Posts : 373
    Reputation : 19
    Join date : 2013-05-21
    Age : 25
    Location : NZ

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by Hart on Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:34 am

    Read the PM I sent you.


    _________________

    Smile, it confuses people.
    avatar
    SirArchmage
    Insomniac
    Insomniac

    Posts : 1146
    Reputation : 85
    Join date : 2013-04-24
    Age : 21
    Location : 537 Paper Street Soap Company

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by SirArchmage on Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:37 am

    Hi. If you are reading this Rynn, congrats, I get the chance to talk to you, in a way. You are considering suicide. And from past experiences, I assume you have had many people come to help. Many people telling you it is alright and not worth it to kill yourself. And surely you know how annoying and benign all those voices can be when you are staring at the abyss of depression right before your eyes. And most likely my voice will pass into your ears and out the other side, but might as well give it a try to say something of meaning, if not mainly logic.

    You are Rynn. That name carries things. All of which I do not know, but I know some that are good, and none that are bad. Loved by the Dark Souls forum, amazing player, great and smart person, and from what I've seen and is perhaps my favorite, poet. And you obviously care greatly for the community. You were one of the first to join, and you are still yet here. And from what you said in a post about Satoshi's suicide, you think suicide is the most selfish thing that someone could do. Doing something that selfish doesn't sound like someone the Rynn I've heard of would do. Nor does it seem like a wise choice, if you still care about the community. I do not wish to say too much in this thread, already I have spoke too many words then I would like. But, if by some miracle, any of what I said had any effect on you, please talk to me. I am young, though I have some experience with suicide. As well as many of my own ways to combat depression.


    _________________
    :sign: I don't kill you in the most effective of ways. I kill you in the funniest. :sign:
    "Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."
    -Ernest Hemmingway

    The Heretic was here twisted Mwa haha
    avatar
    AnCapaillMor
    Insomniac
    Insomniac

    Posts : 1282
    Reputation : 102
    Join date : 2013-02-11
    Location : Shayol Ghul

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by AnCapaillMor on Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:54 am

    Rynn don't because i'll miss that wondeful voice and laugh giving out tips, giving out about cheap tactics, roll bs's.

    I know it's cliched but what doesn't beat us makes us stronger. I've gone through tough times, done stupid things, have not had the balls to do things, lost people close to me, felt unimaginable pain at the loss and anxiety at stupid mistakes. I've got a good memory so pretty much remember everything. I learned a long time ago don't linger on them, find something you like\love and foucus on that, try something new. Peope tend to focus on the negative, bad things that happen, analyse things and only what bad could happen. Remember the good and embrace the meh, bad things happen, meh.

    And having lost a family member, be strong for them, there's nothing worse than losing someone you love.


    _________________
    PSN: AnCapaillMor

    PC:AnCapaillMor

    XBOX: I'll give you 2 guesses
    avatar
    steveswede
    Obsessed
    Obsessed

    Posts : 652
    Reputation : 31
    Join date : 2012-10-30
    Age : 37

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by steveswede on Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:55 am

    @Rynn

    Please admit yourself into a psychiatric hospital so any attempt you make to end your life can be stopped. Seek psychiatric help from people that are qualified to deal with people with mental health problems, self harming and then come back when you're better.
    avatar
    WhatDoesThePendantDo?
    Duke's Archivist
    Duke's Archivist

    Posts : 11501
    Reputation : 327
    Join date : 2012-04-18
    Age : 28
    Location : WPB, Florida

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by WhatDoesThePendantDo? on Wed Jun 12, 2013 7:21 am

    How could I have missed this? I feel awful. Crushed even.

    Rynn, if you are still around to read this, please reconsider and talk to me. I'll reach out to you and nothing would make me happier than seeing it, in some way, whatever way it might help you, help you.:stone-orange:

    avatar
    Kiva the wanderer
    Caffeinated
    Caffeinated

    Posts : 908
    Reputation : 19
    Join date : 2012-08-22
    Age : 22
    Location : Scotland

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by Kiva the wanderer on Wed Jun 12, 2013 7:48 am

    RYN you jackass listen Suicide doesn't end the chances of life getting worse it eradicates the chance of it ever getting better, 
    Think of what you can live for:
    1. Helping others in your position
    2.Turning your life around
    3.Making a difference to someone else's life
    4.There's stuff to look forward to in life.
    5. Suicide is NOT an answer its the quit button to life.


    _________________
    XBL: Kiva N Chips




    Ill be on PS4 at around Christmas time hopefully so my psn tag is "KivaNChips"




    Multiplayer titles and Souls games
    Main games on X360 ATM: Dark Souls, DKS2 (Wont be online though :'c), BF3 and Halo 4.
    Target games on PS4: Killzone: Shadow Fall, Destiny and a next gen souls title?




    games im following
    InFamous, Shadow of the Beast, MGS V, Lords of the fallen, The Order: 1886, The Evil Within (WOO!), Fallout 4, Star Wars battlefront, Kingdom hearts 3, The division, Warhammer MMO, Watch dogs and so much more.




    So many games, so little time (And Money).
    avatar
    Kiva the wanderer
    Caffeinated
    Caffeinated

    Posts : 908
    Reputation : 19
    Join date : 2012-08-22
    Age : 22
    Location : Scotland

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by Kiva the wanderer on Wed Jun 12, 2013 7:49 am

    SirArchmage wrote:Hi. If you are reading this Rynn, congrats, I get the chance to talk to you, in a way. You are considering suicide. And from past experiences, I assume you have had many people come to help. Many people telling you it is alright and not worth it to kill yourself. And surely you know how annoying and benign all those voices can be when you are staring at the abyss of depression right before your eyes. And most likely my voice will pass into your ears and out the other side, but might as well give it a try to say something of meaning, if not mainly logic.

    You are Rynn. That name carries things. All of which I do not know, but I know some that are good, and none that are bad. Loved by the Dark Souls forum, amazing player, great and smart person, and from what I've seen and is perhaps my favorite, poet. And you obviously care greatly for the community. You were one of the first to join, and you are still yet here. And from what you said in a post about Satoshi's suicide, you think suicide is the most selfish thing that someone could do. Doing something that selfish doesn't sound like someone the Rynn I've heard of would do. Nor does it seem like a wise choice, if you still care about the community. I do not wish to say too much in this thread, already I have spoke too many words then I would like. But, if by some miracle, any of what I said had any effect on you, please talk to me. I am young, though I have some experience with suicide. As well as many of my own ways to combat depression.

    Plus one Rynn hes right, dont do it i nearly did once without considering what it would do to others.


    _________________
    XBL: Kiva N Chips




    Ill be on PS4 at around Christmas time hopefully so my psn tag is "KivaNChips"




    Multiplayer titles and Souls games
    Main games on X360 ATM: Dark Souls, DKS2 (Wont be online though :'c), BF3 and Halo 4.
    Target games on PS4: Killzone: Shadow Fall, Destiny and a next gen souls title?




    games im following
    InFamous, Shadow of the Beast, MGS V, Lords of the fallen, The Order: 1886, The Evil Within (WOO!), Fallout 4, Star Wars battlefront, Kingdom hearts 3, The division, Warhammer MMO, Watch dogs and so much more.




    So many games, so little time (And Money).
    avatar
    Hatsune Miku
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4239
    Reputation : 6
    Join date : 2012-10-12
    Age : 27
    Location : Sweet Devil

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Wed Jun 12, 2013 9:17 am

    PlasticandRage wrote:Good lord. You're so young. Life is full of surprises. 4 years ago next month my life was hanging by a thread. The lives of serious drug addicts are cheap, so nobody really cared, including me. I wasn't actively trying to kill myself, but my death was a distinct possibility on a daily basis and I wasn't about to stop what I was doing because of that. I didn't really care about anything. Not my "friends," not my family, not myself. Nothing except where my next hit was coming from. Now, and for the last couple of years, my life is 100% different. I have goals that I'm working towards that give my life meaning and fulfillment.Things changed and I changed. Life can 180 any time. Take yourself out you never know what it may have in store for you. Something might happen tomorrow that would make you obscenely happy. You won't know unless you stick around to find out.

    You have the power to make you're life whatever you want. Just go get it. It's really as simple as that. I don't know you very well. Don't know what you're life is like. Really not at all. But I'd like to think my experiences have given me some degree of insight in these things. Sit around and stew in negativity and hate yourself then your life isn't going to go anywhere other than there. I had my reasons for being where I was, as I'm sure you do, but I made the choice to not stay there. Make the choice to have something better then go get it.

    Just going to quote this for truth. Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what your going to get.


    _________________
    Signature created by me, Hatsune Miku.
    avatar
    Mr. Tart
    Compulsory Poster
    Compulsory Poster

    Posts : 3748
    Reputation : 112
    Join date : 2012-09-14
    Age : 22
    Location : The Void.

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by Mr. Tart on Wed Jun 12, 2013 9:57 am

    Rynn, I sent you a PM, as you or may not have noticed. I hope you'll read it, and I hope I'll see you again soon.


    _________________
    XBL Gamertag: xFingeR PaiNtx PSN ID: Mr_Tartington
    "I have returned. After an eternity away from you all, Jack of Blades is back!"
    avatar
    skarekrow13
    Chat Moderator

    Posts : 10236
    Reputation : 410
    Join date : 2012-01-27
    Location : Ralph Wilson Stadium

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by skarekrow13 on Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:01 am

    Hopefully you'll see this Rynn.  I agree with the statements above, particularly about seeking assistance more qualified than most of us are.  Plastic gets another nod from me, not that the other's don't have good perspective too but I know more about Plastic and have seen enough similar to say he's spot on.  Anyway, here's my little bit for ya:

    We haven't always got along well I don't think.  Maybe we never have actually.  We've interacted on a very limited basis despite popping up in many threads together.  Hell, it's possible you have a genuine dislike for me.  So here I am, in a position (for all intents and purposes) of a stranger or worse to you.  And even I see tremendous value to your existence.  You're a huge facet of this community.

    avatar
    crbngville2
    Obsessed
    Obsessed

    Posts : 310
    Reputation : 8
    Join date : 2013-01-08
    Age : 47
    Location : West of the Void, Xanth

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by crbngville2 on Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:52 am

    Rynn, Please don't do this!

    You may be at a tough place in life. That is no reason to punish the people around you. Suicide hurts those that remain and fixes nothing for the dead. Believe me, wisdom comes from age and I haven't lived this long without gaining a TINY amount of it.

    Please get some professional help immediately.


    _________________
    FTW Fury Sword Hoody Ninja Biatch - SL 126 Dual Wield Dex Toon
    PSN: crbngville
    Member of both the DeS and DkS Platinum Cookie Clubs!
    avatar
    ResIsBestStat
    Hollowed
    Hollowed

    Posts : 1863
    Reputation : 6
    Join date : 2013-03-25
    Age : 19
    Location : I'm homeless

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by ResIsBestStat on Wed Jun 12, 2013 11:27 am

    Rynn, seriously, suiciding and ending your life isn't the answer, life is ******** I know, but do you want everyone to suffer just because there are some jerks in this world that hate you? If you kill yourself, those jerks will win and your loved ones will lose, think about it, I'm 14 so I can't give any good advice...but think about it! twistedevil
    avatar
    Rynn
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4689
    Reputation : 257
    Join date : 2012-01-26

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by Rynn on Wed Jun 12, 2013 12:50 pm

    I can't honestly say I'm still not mulling things over, but for anyone that doesn't know, i've been in the chat room thinking and talking for about an hour now.

    I'm going to run a stream to take my minds off things, maybe i'll feel better afterwards, and i'll consider calling the SPH.
    avatar
    Rynn
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4689
    Reputation : 257
    Join date : 2012-01-26

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by Rynn on Wed Jun 12, 2013 8:33 pm

    I'm still strongly considering this...
    avatar
    Kiva the wanderer
    Caffeinated
    Caffeinated

    Posts : 908
    Reputation : 19
    Join date : 2012-08-22
    Age : 22
    Location : Scotland

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by Kiva the wanderer on Wed Jun 12, 2013 8:41 pm

    All im saying is this, Be strong not weak.


    _________________
    XBL: Kiva N Chips




    Ill be on PS4 at around Christmas time hopefully so my psn tag is "KivaNChips"




    Multiplayer titles and Souls games
    Main games on X360 ATM: Dark Souls, DKS2 (Wont be online though :'c), BF3 and Halo 4.
    Target games on PS4: Killzone: Shadow Fall, Destiny and a next gen souls title?




    games im following
    InFamous, Shadow of the Beast, MGS V, Lords of the fallen, The Order: 1886, The Evil Within (WOO!), Fallout 4, Star Wars battlefront, Kingdom hearts 3, The division, Warhammer MMO, Watch dogs and so much more.




    So many games, so little time (And Money).
    avatar
    SirArchmage
    Insomniac
    Insomniac

    Posts : 1146
    Reputation : 85
    Join date : 2013-04-24
    Age : 21
    Location : 537 Paper Street Soap Company

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by SirArchmage on Wed Jun 12, 2013 8:46 pm

    Rynn wrote:I'm still strongly considering this...
    What, with all the love you had from the chatroom this morning you are considering this? Preposterous. The forum seems too in love with you to see you go, you mustn't.

    Have you called the SPH yet?


    _________________
    :sign: I don't kill you in the most effective of ways. I kill you in the funniest. :sign:
    "Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."
    -Ernest Hemmingway

    The Heretic was here twisted Mwa haha
    avatar
    Tolvo
    Town Crier
    Town Crier

    Posts : 13287
    Reputation : 542
    Join date : 2012-02-01
    Age : 25
    Location : The Forest, Illinois

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by Tolvo on Wed Jun 12, 2013 8:53 pm

    Please don't do it Rynn, just please don't.  I know I'm maybe not the best person to give advice with this since I struggle with it on a daily basis, but please don't do it Rynn.
    avatar
    Rynn
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4689
    Reputation : 257
    Join date : 2012-01-26

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by Rynn on Wed Jun 12, 2013 8:55 pm

    SirArchmage wrote:
    Rynn wrote:I'm still strongly considering this...

    Have you called the SPH yet?
    I'm actually speaking with them currently.
    avatar
    SirArchmage
    Insomniac
    Insomniac

    Posts : 1146
    Reputation : 85
    Join date : 2013-04-24
    Age : 21
    Location : 537 Paper Street Soap Company

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by SirArchmage on Wed Jun 12, 2013 9:14 pm

    Then I suggest this, if you are not getting sufficient help from them, or if you are yet still are feeling fairly.....depressed. Talk to Tolvo, though I do not know if you are close with him or not. Talk to me even, if you feel so, or just join the small chatroom. Really my suggestion is talking, whether it is about your depression or not, just talk. Depression festers like a boil by itself.


    _________________
    :sign: I don't kill you in the most effective of ways. I kill you in the funniest. :sign:
    "Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."
    -Ernest Hemmingway

    The Heretic was here twisted Mwa haha

    Sponsored content

    Re: barring a miracle, this is farwell

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Sat Dec 16, 2017 12:05 pm