Breakups!!!

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    Tyler Durden
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    Breakups!!!

    Post by RANT on Tue Mar 19, 2013 12:36 am

    so, about five months ago two of my best friends broke up (don't really know why since i never ask about stuff like that) she(let's call her beatrice) is dating a guy now and he(let's call him crestfallen warrior) is a drunken mess. so this got me thinking about how weomen deal with breakups much better than men, i'm talking about two people that were IN love with each other and together for 7 years and now after all this she's like nothing happened while crestfallen dude is a *** mess. the last time i broke up with someone, well technically they stomped my heart and threw it on my face and left me on the street it took me about two years to get over that. also i'm talking about women breaking up with men and men breaking up with women, that no matter who breaks up with who, women always deal with it much better with it. has this been discussed before and is there an answer to this? link maybe?


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    barrywilkins
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    Re: Breakups!!!

    Post by barrywilkins on Tue Mar 19, 2013 12:45 am

    Its alot easier to get over it when you know you'll be happily in another relationship as soon as you want. Not to sound like a woman-hater but, girls do seem to have the upper hand when it comes to the whole dating scene.
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    WhatDoesThePendantDo?
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    Re: Breakups!!!

    Post by WhatDoesThePendantDo? on Tue Mar 19, 2013 12:48 am

    I'd say it varies, each relationship and every person in the relationship is unique.

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    Re: Breakups!!!

    Post by RANT on Tue Mar 19, 2013 12:53 am

    @pendant i don't know dude, ive actually asked my wife and girl friends and they all agreed that for the most part they're better at dealing with breakups.


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    skarekrow13
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    Re: Breakups!!!

    Post by skarekrow13 on Tue Mar 19, 2013 1:21 am

    I think the opposite is true and research in psychology shows that men fall in and out of love faster generally speaking. There's a false sense of things though as, in my experience, women make the choice more often and more likely than not, they've already found someone else or it happens soon after. Having a warm body to cuddle makes it seem like they handle it better. The other thing I've seen a lot is that women jump to the next relationship but hold on to the old one. I can't tell you the number of times I or someone I know is lumped in with an ex for a completely unrelated mistake. For instance, blaming a current boyfriend for being like the abusive ex because the current one forgot to put dishes away. There's not necessarily a torch still burning but the memory is still there and very strong.

    Edit: Forgot to mention that one of the reasons women ( again my experience) jump into another relationshipquickly is due to not being over it completely. Anxiety and sadness make it seem like a new guy is the ticket. Your friend drinking isn't a healthier response in this case however

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    Maneater_Mildred
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    Re: Breakups!!!

    Post by Maneater_Mildred on Tue Mar 19, 2013 1:25 am

    We are, for the most part, more in touch with our feelings(yeah yuck I know) and we also talk about said feelings with our friends(yeah again yuck) thus we are able to move on quicker.

    Puzzle solved.


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    densetsushun
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    Re: Breakups!!!

    Post by densetsushun on Tue Mar 19, 2013 5:20 am

    What Mildred says. Girls/females have no issues talking about their feelings, while society has deemed it inappropriate for our gender to even acknowledge that we have emotions.

    Ladies and gentlemen, please keep in mind though that though there may seem to be some pattern, everyone is different and handles emotions differently, so everyone handles a breakup differently. There's no distinguishing factor, no x or y chromosomal coded set of instructions, any difference between genders in behavior or similarities between groups of the same gender are either coincidental, or imposed by society. It's why people from different countries act differently, while if there was something inherent to the gender one would think that we all would act uniformly.


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    Re: Breakups!!!

    Post by Mr. Tart on Tue Mar 19, 2013 5:33 am

    When me and my ex broke up it was the other way around. It took me about 1 and a half year to get over it, but i could still kinda handle it after the first week.

    She's still not fully over me. She started drinking shortly after we broke up too. That doesn't mean she can't control it, of course. But she was always sobber before that.


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    PlasticandRage
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    Re: Breakups!!!

    Post by PlasticandRage on Tue Mar 19, 2013 12:30 pm

    After the last serious relationship I was in ended I was essentially set on a path to severe and life threatening addiction. It was a really really bad breakup though. We were together for just about 7 years also, and were engaged to be married that May. So around June my best and oldest friend came home from a tour in Iraq, couldn't handle what he'd seen and ended up killing himself. The day of the funeral I was a mess, for obvious reasons. Went to the funeral service with her, then afterwards was going out to the bar with my other friends who'd been there, which is generally our custom after a funeral, and she said she was tired and just wanted to go home. I went out for about an hour and a friend and I decided to pop back to my house quick to get something. I can't remember what, but we walked in on her with her ex boyfriend in our bed. The day of my best friend's funeral. That was an awesome day.

    Now that I'm well over it in hindsight I'm just really glad it didn't happen after we were married. That girl has no soul.

    Oh and she moved on almost immediately. I still hear from her occasionally. She'll send me emails, or facebooks, or get my phone number from somebody and ask me how I'm doing. Which I'm sure is entirely meant to make her feel better about what she did


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