Proper PvP etiquette?

Alright...
I've been playing this game for awhile now, and I decided to start playing
PvP in the Kiln at around soul level 159. After a few duels, and getting a few dirty messages for my use of estus and using prayers, I came here to read up on the "rules" for PvP.

And one thing that pisses me off, and really confuses me is...
Why do I get looked down upon for healing or using my prayers, but they'll buff their weapons with crystal magic weapon or gold pine resin and that's perfectly okay?

How is that at all fair?

You are asking a loaded question, and you'll get a lot of different answers. One reason healing is frowned upon is it draws battles out longer.

BTW, welcome to the forums, shadow!

I'd agree with Reim here. Healing is frowned on because it draws out the battle unnaturally and if your opponent only has one cast of CMW or whatever, you've just wasted one of their casts and negated an important aspect of their build.

Heal during a 1 on 1 duel and you'll get well deserved hate mail every time

Duels aren't invasions.

Basically there's a set of unwritten rules for pvp etiquette. As a bit of a disclaimer I do not abide by these rules most of the time, some I feel are foolish and many players take advantage of them and deceive honorable players.

1. No healing. Healing during duels is frowned upon. Like Reim said it draws battles out. I don't heal as I usually invade and don't have time to farm healing items to use during an invasion.

2. Bowing before dueling. Bowing shows that you are wanting a duel and a fair fight. However some players will bow to you, and attempt to bs you when you bow. Farmers will often have a phantom hiding behind a wall waiting to bs you when you bow. I generally do not bow, but will fight "fairly" if my opponent bows. However I often set traps and ambush my opponents so they rarely have a chance to bow.

3. Allow opponent to buff. Its pretty much standard that most players buff their weapon before a match, munch on some grass, cast gmb ect. Most players expect you to allow them to buff. I however will run an take the bs if they are buffing.

4. Bowing after a fight. As a sign of respect many players expect you to bow after a fight. Now if you pvp often you'll learn that its more common for players to taunt you after a fight.

5. Backstabbing and chain backstabbing are generally frowned upon. But you'll find again in pvp that many players will use pivot backstabs and usually one shot you with elemental weapons.

6. Spell spamming is generally frowned upon. In fact you'll get a lot of hate mail if you kill someone with a spell I've found. But if you cast chains of wog or gc its generally looked upon as being cheap. Also the use of certain spells is frowned upon.

Now many players abide by these rules, some have additional ones they follow and some pick and choose what they do. What I'd like you and really every other player who plays this game to understand is that rules like this aren't final. PvP like PvE can be played any way you want to and you don't have to constrain yourself to rules like this. If you want duels set them up with friends. But the multiplayer experience isn't meant to be regulated like that.

you know you can buff weapon too if you wanted? healing is a no no since the invader doesnt any estus which would make the fight last a lot longer(humanity is a pain to farm and other healing items too since there is no grass like demon's souls). if you bow it means you want a fair fight which means no healing but thats about the only rule everyone agrees on, after that everyone has their own rules and you will get chain bs'd by me if you do like most people will do.

I have to agree with Err... People often come here to complain about pvp etiquette and turn around and violate every rule they want everyone else to follow. I've been back stabbed 4 times in a row from the front today. I've been poked 4 feet from the point of impact, and farmed. The one invasion I actually succeeded in, the guy hid from me, told me he could hide all day and then ran off a cliff because he really didn't have all day. People just make no sense. If you get hate mail just ignore it, or block comms with that person.

There is no honor in the spoils of war and bloodshed.