I Need Some Help

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    I Need Some Help

    Post by Satoshi on Mon May 27, 2013 10:43 pm

    Hi, I am having some trouble with my friend recently.

    She sees me as much more than my friend, but even to more extreme levels than that. A little backstory on our relationship first.

    When I first visited her in the orphanage, she was really quiet and never talked. Whenever I tried to approach her, she would always back away. After I kept visiting her, she realized I wouldn't give up. I started talking to her. It turned out that she was five at the moment, and I was a little older by a few years.

    Every day after school, I would run half a mile there just to talk to her. We had so much fun. As the years passed though, I was in middle school, and after many years of bullying, while talking to her, I broke down. I literally destroyed everything, there were large holes in the walls, There were desks inside desks, and shattered glass.

    She managed to calm me down though as I cried afterwards. She seemed to really want me as a friend. As time passed even more, she became more and more attached to me. When I would leave after talking, she would always grab my sleeve and try to pull me back for more time with her. She would sneak out at night stare at me through my window until I woke up and let her in.

    I lived alone for a few years before I became an adult. Both my parents had died, and I was completely isolated. One of my friends paid for the house in the mean time. I always visited my friend, and she always kept me there so long that I was once there for literally 12 hours. When I turned 18, I immediately took her and flew to Japan.

    We got settled there, but she became even more attached than before. Nowadays, she always comes with me when I go anywhere. If I do manage to leave alone my some miracle, she calls me every minute, literally. I've timed it. She is always panicked when I am not around. She always tells me she loves me.

    One time, I came back from work, and when I opened the door, everything was cut open, and she was sitting on the floor, scissors on her lap. Her expression was completely devoid of any emotions. All she did was mechanically turn her head and say "Hello, how are you?" An hour after that, she was even more clingy than ever.

    She also has handcuffs and rope in a locked box, which she uses.

    I need to ask, what do I do? I love her to death, but the lengths she goes to in order to stay with me is hard to deal with. I am starting to think that she is just obsessed with me. I am actually scared of having to leave her due to what has happened, and what she is capable of doing when I am not around. She is always so happy when she is with me though.


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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Mon May 27, 2013 10:52 pm

    I've never had this happen to me before on this such large scale.
    So I'm not completely sure what advice to give. But I'll give it some thought. Ok.
    Is this the person you mentioned in your other thread?


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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Satoshi on Mon May 27, 2013 10:53 pm

    Fluttershy wrote:I've never had this happen to me before on this such large scale.
    So I'm not completely sure what advice to give. But I'll give it some thought. Ok.
    Is this the person you mentioned in your other thread?

    Yes, this is her.
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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Latitoast on Mon May 27, 2013 10:55 pm

    Hmm...

    I can't relate well, nobody's ever been obsessed with me.

    She seems like your best friend if you were willing to take her to Japan with you.

    It seems like for most of her life(if not all of her life) she's only had you to talk to if she was in the Orphanage, I've heard it can get lonely in those places.

    You have other friends right? Why not try to get her to talk to other friends while you're there, when I made my first friend I always wanted to talk to him, but as I got more friends I talked to him less and talked to all of my friends evenly.

    Being in an orphanage might have scarred her, maybe she's afraid of being alone?


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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Mon May 27, 2013 10:56 pm

    Yeah. This is tough. Real tough.
    Do you have any other friends of any other friendship level?


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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Satoshi on Mon May 27, 2013 10:57 pm

    Latitoast wrote:Hmm...

    I can't relate well, nobody's ever been obsessed with me.

    She seems like your best friend if you were willing to take her to Japan with you.

    It seems like for most of her life(if not all of her life) she's only had you to talk to if she was in the Orphanage, I've heard it can get lonely in those places.

    You have other friends right? Why not try to get her to talk to other friends while you're there, when I made my first friend I always wanted to talk to him, but as I got more friends I talked to him less and talked to all of my friends evenly.

    Being in an orphanage might have scarred her, maybe she's afraid of being alone?

    Well, she never liked my other friends, and they started hating me due to the accident that happened a long time ago. She despises everyone other than me, especially other women.
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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Mon May 27, 2013 10:58 pm

    Latitoast wrote:Hmm...

    I can't relate well, nobody's ever been obsessed with me.

    She seems like your best friend if you were willing to take her to Japan with you.

    It seems like for most of her life(if not all of her life) she's only had you to talk to if she was in the Orphanage, I've heard it can get lonely in those places.

    You have other friends right? Why not try to get her to talk to other friends while you're there, when I made my first friend I always wanted to talk to him, but as I got more friends I talked to him less and talked to all of my friends evenly.

    Being in an orphanage might have scarred her, maybe she's afraid of being alone?
    ^This.


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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Satoshi on Mon May 27, 2013 11:00 pm

    I forgot to mention, when she is around others, she always tells them, and me, that "They will never take me away from her."
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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Latitoast on Mon May 27, 2013 11:01 pm

    Is she shy around others?

    You might have to find someone like yourself who refused to give up on her.

    Like I said, I'm not the best at this specific topic, I'm not too great with people.

    I don't know what you could do :l

    Sorry.


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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Mon May 27, 2013 11:03 pm

    She's obessessed. There is no doubt. Things can only get more hectic.
    I personal; even though this is most likely going to be hard to you; ...you need to leave her, some how.
    It's what I would do.


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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Satoshi on Mon May 27, 2013 11:04 pm

    Latitoast wrote:Is she shy around others?

    You might have to find someone like yourself who refused to give up on her.

    Like I said, I'm not the best at this specific topic, I'm not too great with people.

    I don't know what you could do :l

    Sorry.

    She isn't shy. She acts like...dare I say...a 'normal' person as in that she just talks like someone would to another. As we leave, she typically whispers it to them behind my back, and tells me the same thing.

    What do you mean by 'You might have to find someone like yourself who refused to give up on her.'
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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Latitoast on Mon May 27, 2013 11:06 pm

    I mean you might have to find someone who refuses to take no for an answer and will try their hardest to get her to warm up to them.

    This is a really hard thing to get through, given how destructive she can be.


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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Mon May 27, 2013 11:08 pm

    Fluttershy wrote:She's obessessed. There is no doubt. Things can only get more hectic.
    I personal; even though this is most likely going to be hard to you; ...you need to leave her, some how.
    It's what I would do.
    And that's not trying to be mean. But as I said, it can only get worse, as far as I know.
    Start talking to other people more. And her less. It's going to be hard for BOTH of you.
    You are in for a rocky road ahead of you.


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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Satoshi on Mon May 27, 2013 11:10 pm

    Fluttershy wrote:She's obessessed. There is no doubt. Things can only get more hectic.
    I personal; even though this is most likely going to be hard to you; ...you need to leave her, some how.
    It's what I would do.

    I...I might have two...as much as it will destroy me, apparently I have to.

    Latitoast wrote:I mean you might have to find someone who refuses to take no for an answer and will try their hardest to get her to warm up to them.

    This is a really hard thing to get through, given how destructive she can be.

    I've tried many times, it just makes things worse. When she's in her 'destruction state' nothing stops her. It's like short episodes of blind rage. It's the most scariest thing you may see, but I comfort her as much as I can until she ends up feeling better.
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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Latitoast on Mon May 27, 2013 11:11 pm

    Yeah, she's become more obsessed, it might be best to leave her now before it gets worse.


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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Satoshi on Mon May 27, 2013 11:14 pm

    I don't know what to say. All I know is that, with either decision I make, I will regret it no matter what. I'm...just not strong enough to separate myself from her, I worry about her, and the only thing that seems to keep her from killing someone is the fact that I am with her. I don't want her in an asylum or anything.
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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by WhatDoesThePendantDo? on Mon May 27, 2013 11:14 pm

    It does sound like she is obsessed with you. Might I suggest doubles counseling? Nothing wrong with having a relationship, but let it be a healthy one.

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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Satoshi on Mon May 27, 2013 11:16 pm

    WhatDoesThePendantDo? wrote:It does sound like she is obsessed with you. Might I suggest doubles counseling? Nothing wrong with having a relationship, but let it be a healthy one.

    What's doubles counseling, do you mean doubling the time for having one, or is it something else.
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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Mon May 27, 2013 11:18 pm

    Satoshi wrote:
    Fluttershy wrote:She's obessessed. There is no doubt. Things can only get more hectic.
    I personal; even though this is most likely going to be hard to you; ...you need to leave her, some how.
    It's what I would do.

    I...I might have two...as much as it will destroy me, apparently I have to.
    Continue to come here for online support and seek guidance and other friendships in real life.
    So you've accepted this fate. And wish you the absolute best, as well as her.
    This is for the best for both of you in the end. Whether she or you like it or not.

    You are good person for all you've done for her. But it's time to let go, and move on before it gets worse.


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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Latitoast on Mon May 27, 2013 11:18 pm

    I think it's when you both get counseling at the same time.

    You both go in and see a counselor together and he/she helps you through your problem.


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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Mon May 27, 2013 11:19 pm

    Try counseling first. If not that. Prepare youself.


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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Satoshi on Mon May 27, 2013 11:20 pm

    Latitoast wrote:I think it's when you both get counseling at the same time.

    You both go in and see a counselor together and he/she helps you through your problem.

    We got into troubles at our last time going to a counselor, but being with her might help. I-I might not have to leave her after all!
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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by tonberryking01 on Mon May 27, 2013 11:21 pm

    It sounds like she's seriously afraid of abandonment. I don't think you have to separate yourself from her entirely, but she needs to understand that you both need to branch out and have relationships other than each other. I agree with Pendant: professional help is likely the best option if she is willing to try it.
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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by WhatDoesThePendantDo? on Mon May 27, 2013 11:21 pm

    Fluttershy wrote:
    Satoshi wrote:
    Fluttershy wrote:She's obessessed. There is no doubt. Things can only get more hectic.
    I personal; even though this is most likely going to be hard to you; ...you need to leave her, some how.
    It's what I would do.

    I...I might have two...as much as it will destroy me, apparently I have to.
    Continue to come here for online support and seek guidance and other friendships in real life.
    So you've accepted this fate. And wish you the absolute best, as well as her.
    This is for the best for both of you in the end. Whether she or you like it or not.

    You are good person for all you've done for her. But it's time to let go, and move on before it gets worse.

    I would disagree with that Vinyl. While the current is situation between the two of them is clearly unsustainable I wouldn't suggest having 2 co-dependents just cut the other off like that. They might not be able to adapt.

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    Re: I Need Some Help

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Mon May 27, 2013 11:22 pm

    Sorry I didn't think about the counseling thing first.


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