Attempted Suicide

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    Tolvo
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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Tolvo on Thu May 23, 2013 12:45 am

    Agreed, and frankly if anyone has anything negative to say keep it to themself.
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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by DemonOfFate on Thu May 23, 2013 1:00 am

    How the hell did i miss this? Well, i may be late to the disccusion, but i'll still throw in my advice.

    Life is what you make of it. You have the power to change your life for the better, it's no easy task for sure, but the outcome is worth the journey. Look for happiness, your friend seems to be a beacon of it, keep your friends close, don't hide your feelings, your friend is there as a shoulder to cry on, hell we're here for you, but there is nothing we can do unless you let us.

    Most people on here also have something going on in their life, we understand that life sucks, but we manage to find the good things in it. That's the key to happiness, its out there, you just have to look for it. Though you may find it in the most unlikely of places, for me this forum has become a little sanctum for me to vent on my issues. Do you think i expected this when i first joined this forum?

    Hell no, but it happened, and i've made good friends with some of the guys on here, hell i'd consider them some of my only true friends. Death isn't the answer, it's never the answer. Death is for those too ignorant to admit that there is someone out there in the world who has it worst, death is for those afraid too face their problems.

    Now i don't think you're one of those people are you? You're here, facing your problems, and doing one hell of a good job at it if i do say so myself. You have to keep trying, and one day you will be blessed beyond your imagination, when life knocks you down, tell life to **** off and continue on your merry way.

    Get better, I'll keep you in my prayers.


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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Hart on Thu May 23, 2013 2:20 am

    OK, this is a pretty heavy topic so I'll try to be empathetic...

    Satoshi, after reading through yours and everyone else's posts I went and searched for other posts of yours in other threads. I was pleased to find that my assumptions about you were correct, you seem quite smart, polite and personable enough (if somewhat insecure) and unlike some, on the whole you don't degenerate into bickering and name-calling at the first oppurtunity. Like everyone on here then I will consider this site worse-for-it if we lose you.
    Someones already pointed out that having come and posted this topic, you obviously havn't completely given up hope that someone or something is worth sticking around for.
    Keep this in mind as you read through the following quote, by Nietzsche, about a persons perception of the world:

    ...What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: "this life as you live it and have lived it, you will have to live innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and sequence--even this spider and this moonlight between the trees, and even this moment and I myself..." Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: "You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine"... how well disposed would you have to become to yourself and to life to crave nothing more fervently than this ultimate eternal confirmation and seal?

    You have obviously had a hard life up til now, and reading this might be a disturbing thought. But the intent of it is to show you, through a hypothetical situation, that the possibility of finding yourself truly happy is just that. A possibility. You say you want to die because the world is sh*t and there is a better place. But by doing this while being so unhappy you extinguish this possibility in exchange for something that is in no-way definitively better or even there.
    The fact that you are a gamer and part of a community like this tells me you base most of your decisions on reason/logic, and so I will appeal to this sense. While you might have only ever recieved the worst on offer, and the world may have taken every chance it could to kick you while your down; you know the limits of the world you are in now. And as much as you deny it you know that, objectively you can make something of yourself within these limitations. Where's the logic in giving even this small security up on the slim chance that, if there is something else (and thats a BIG if) its any better.

    So please, reach out to us if you need to. Faceless names on a screen or not, we're here for you.

    I would like to second Tolvo's comment that we should give these kind of posts the benefit of the doubt, even if the OP is screaming troll (which this is not, just again a bit awkward/ungainly in reaching out to us for help) either offer your help or bugger off. DONT MAKE THINGS WORSE!!!

    And on a side note, I was not online before Rennys posts were edited but I believe I picked up the general attitude of them (morally ambiguous at best, deplorable at worst) but I don't think he was trying to aggravate the situation, or validate Satoshi's attempt to take his life, just thinking out loud and maybe less dextrously than yours truly happy
    I don't want to step on any toes but I would like to say I don't support banning him from the forum/community, and will take this further by saying I encourage you (whoever banned him) to reinstate his account, or at the least not hold this against him if he openly makes a new one.


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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by DemonOfFate on Thu May 23, 2013 2:34 am

    Renny was banned? I don't think that's right, hes contributed a'lot to this community, one not well thought out post shouldn't mean a ban. But I' not sure if he WAS banned, so if not then no harm no foul. (Sorry to derail this slightly)

    Edit: So he really was banned? Well i don't think its really fair, i mean i doubt he meant harm in what he said, it most likely just wasn't well thought out. A warning would have been suitable imo, hes helped a'lot of people in Let It Out, so to just ban him because of one slip up doesn't really sit right with me.


    Last edited by DemonOfFate on Thu May 23, 2013 2:43 am; edited 1 time in total


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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Hart on Thu May 23, 2013 2:42 am

    Emergence wrote:It was reprehensible, ill advised and it sets the standard for what is not acceptable behavior here. As a result he has been permanently removed from this community. There are boundaries of taste and discretion, let this be a demonstration of what will and will not be tolerated on this wiki.

    I just assumed this meant he was banned. My bad if I have misunderstood. But yeeh that was my oppinion of him too. Top man in my books lol
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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Rynn on Thu May 23, 2013 5:34 am

    Cyanide pills... huh?

    Well that's sickening. Of all the things he could suggest, could you get much more painful?

    ________________________________________________________________________

    I've tried to kill myself before. Several times satty... lemme tell you, the powers at work won't save you forever, and it's best not to squander the second chances they give. Someone put in the effort to save your life, despite the measures you took to end it: if that doesn't indicate they care to have you alive, nothing else could.


    Suicide is a selfish thing, very selfish. Ultimately it undermines all the love and care in the world, and most importantly, it lets the ones that don't like you win. It causes remorse, guilt, and the blacest of joy (from those that hate you, if any truly exist). Nothing positive comes from it.

    Most religions do not state that when taking your own life, you can go to heaven, so even if there is an afterlife, you cheat yourself out of it, too.

    Dying hurts. Failing to die hurts even more, but if you can learn to love the life you have, and change it for the better, you'll never regret what may seem a failure.

    If you ever want to discuss this with me in PM, I'm more than willing. I know where you're coming from, as i've tried to put myself on deaths door before. I can help you get past it, and if i can't, my experiences may help you anyway.
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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Emergence on Thu May 23, 2013 5:38 am

    Renny's fate is not up for discussion. This forum has and will maintain a high level of integrity and thoughtfulness before any of us make any post. I would ban myself if I said what he did no matter how much I meant to say different. The line between life and death is never to be toyed with.


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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by lonewolf on Thu May 23, 2013 5:52 am

    let us get back on tracks plz we are here to help someone not discus a ban


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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Sentiel on Thu May 23, 2013 9:17 am

    Satoshi wrote: I don't recall if I have said this yet, but if I haven't here it is. I suffer from chronic depression. I have had this since I was around ten, and it has stuck with me for nearly 13 years. I have attempted to kill myself many times in the past, only to fail due to lack of willpower, or someone "saving" me.

    Yesterday, I decided that after pretty much living a complete, yet horrid life, I would end it all. I locked the doors and windows and attached a noose to a metal latch in the ceiling. I got up on a chair and wrapped it around me neck, and kicked the chair down.

    I hung there, slowly suffocating to death. It was painful, and I was scared, but I knew that I would be in a better place. After what felt like an eternity, I started to drift out of consciousness, albeit slowly. I heard some banging, and then a shattering sound.

    My friend broke one of my windows and shot through the gap with multiple cuts. She quickly set the chair up on my feet and forced the noose away from my neck. I ended up breaking down emotionally, and just started crying. She was the only one I could outlet my woes to.

    I just wish I can find a way to kill myself, without others impeding.
    Poison, firearms, gravity.
    Most often used forms of suicide I am aware of. Not the best choice, but...
    If you really want to die, just freaking take a kitchen knife, go to a remote area, alone and end it. You will feel a lot of pain, then you will gow weak and weary. Your body will start to numb and you will feel coldness coming from the inside of you, not from the outside as one may be used to. The rest, you won't be even aware of. Just don't screw up, or you will keep living and may end up severely handicaped for the rest of your life.

    Is that what you secretly wanted to hear?
    It's horse****, let me tell you that.

    Suicide is selfish. It will not make anything go away. It will not fix, nor resolve anything. All it will do, is make you dissapear. While one might think that is what he/she wants, that's just the depression screwing around with you. We all have a primal instict to keep on living inside of us for a good reason.
    All death creates is sorrow, sadness and emptiness in those that hold you dear. There is nothing after life, just like there's nothing before it. All you can do is keep living and kick in the face every problem that makes you want to end this otherwise wonderful journey.

    Chronic depression is very serious and it is something that needs medical attention from a specialist. It is more and more common in these modern days, where we put a lot of stress on our backs and demand the same from others. Some may belittle it, because it is not a physical trauma, but that doesn't mean it's something to shrug off and ignore.

    Anyway, do not seek help from random people on the internet. You will find a good share of assholes that will make you feel even worse. Perhaps that's what I did right now, even though it was not my intention. All we can do is offer words of support, but those will not resolve your situation. You should seek a doctor and focus on fighting the depressions, instead of losing to them and attempting to end your life. By doctor, I don't mean the type that fills your mouth with pills. I never believed that those can solve serious psycholgical issues. You need the one that will talk to you, try to help you and try to understand you. Joining sessions for people with the same problem usually helps a lot too. If the treatment doesn't work, it's not your fault, just the doctor failed. Psychological probelms aren't sovled overnight, nor are they treated with a few pills and a good rest.

    Same to friends. If your friends hate you and leave you when you desperately need them, they are not friends. Those people are going against the very definition of the word friend. Just let them go and focus on those that are left and mostly on your own self.

    PS:
    Who the hell is Renny?

    PS2:
    Now I'm gonna read the rest of the thread before E cuts me off.

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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Hart on Thu May 23, 2013 9:23 am

    Renny=Renegade, another member (ex-member). Just by the way, I suggest you edit out the first paragraph of your post as its in a very similar vein to what got him banned.

    If I can I suggest everyone to direct their posts about him to the other thread. This was made by someone reaching out to us for help dealing with a rough time.

    Satoshi, if your still reading this could you throw up a new post. I won't speak for anyone else (well thats a blatant lie) but I'm getting a little anxious. You were pretty quick to reply a few pages back and I havn't seen any posts from you in a while.
    Hope your doing OK
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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by steveswede on Thu May 23, 2013 9:43 am

    Satoshi wrote: I don't recall if I have said this yet, but if I haven't here it is. I suffer from chronic depression. I have had this since I was around ten, and it has stuck with me for nearly 13 years. I have attempted to kill myself many times in the past, only to fail due to lack of willpower, or someone "saving" me.

    Yesterday, I decided that after pretty much living a complete, yet horrid life, I would end it all. I locked the doors and windows and attached a noose to a metal latch in the ceiling. I got up on a chair and wrapped it around me neck, and kicked the chair down.

    I hung there, slowly suffocating to death. It was painful, and I was scared, but I knew that I would be in a better place. After what felt like an eternity, I started to drift out of consciousness, albeit slowly. I heard some banging, and then a shattering sound.

    My friend broke one of my windows and shot through the gap with multiple cuts. She quickly set the chair up on my feet and forced the noose away from my neck. I ended up breaking down emotionally, and just started crying. She was the only one I could outlet my woes to.

    I just wish I can find a way to kill myself, without others impeding.

    Right I have not read the entire thread and only the first page so forgive me if this has been covered.

    1. Have you tried different types of anti depressants? I have found that citalopram suits me more than the ones I was taking before. The ones before made me feel like I was out my face all the time, like I was taking ecstasy. Please see your GP about different types of medication before you give up on them fully.

    2. If you have tried every type there is another alternative. I can't find the information just yet I've only just had a quick look but there was something I saw on TV a while back where these electric pads are fitted on the brain that send electrical pulses to lift your mood. The woman who suffered with chronic depression said it was the best treatment she's ever had. Like I said I haven't found the information yet but there seems to be hope for people that have it bad.

    3. BTW don't hate yourself about other people's opinions or old friend's opinions. You are in a phase that is destructive so it's nothing personal if they don't want anything to do with you, they have their own mental health to keep in check so they most likely find it best to be out of that environment, also people can be innocently ignorant to how bad it is for you. If you finally get back to your old self then things should be fine, different but patched up good. If they're going to be @ssholes about it afterwards then they were never good friends in the first place.

    If you want to talk more privately you can do that with me. Depression is super destructive to you and the people around you. I know after years of bowel problems, the scaring on my body from all the surgery gives me a massive body complex, can't do the trade I'm qualified to do due to the weakness on my gut, overweight because food is the only real enjoyment I get in life. I will help you out as much as I possibly can (because I have my own health issues to deal with physical and mental) but you will have to show me you are willing to help yourself. Also I really would keep up seeing a psychologist and do some excise to help lift you mood like swimming or going to the gym. Get a personal trainer to get you motivated if you can't do it by yourself.

    Trust me when I say this but you will be able to get out of this hole you're in, it's an on going battle you will have to deal with for the rest of your life but the happier you are, the easier it is to maintain there.

    EDIT:

    Ok this seem to be it,

    http://news.yahoo.com/scalp-electrodes-switch-off-depression-004023185--abc-news-health.html

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transcranial_direct-current_stimulation

    http://www.6minutes.com.au/news/latest-news/brain-stimulation-plus-ssri-best-in-major-depressi


    Last edited by steveswede on Thu May 23, 2013 10:10 am; edited 3 times in total
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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Thu May 23, 2013 9:44 am

    Emergence wrote:Renny's fate is not up for discussion. This forum has and will maintain a high level of integrity and thoughtfulness before any of us make any post. I would ban myself if I said what he did no matter how much I meant to say different. The line between life and death is never to be toyed with.
    I actually agree with this.


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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by crbngville2 on Thu May 23, 2013 10:31 am

    Please Satoshi, never try this again. As crummy as it may sometimes seem, this life is all that we have. My heart aches to hear your pain. I do not know you, but will listen whenever you need. Send me a PM and a friend request on PSN. I will add you. Hang in there, life is precious.


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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by TehInfamousAmos on Thu May 23, 2013 11:45 am

    My opinion on the topic... Suicide is a selfish option - ask yourself 'Who will suffer if I do this?', certainly not you - you will be dead... What you will do is create suffering in the lives of all whom care for you, what will happen to the person who saved you? She may spiral into depression, would you want her to commit suicide?

    Anyway - what I am saying is be the utilitarian and do what is best for the majority and live with the burden of your suffering. Truth be told - Natalia is one of the only reasons I don't commit suicide...


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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by barrywilkins on Thu May 23, 2013 11:48 am

    Life isn't exactly the greatest thing in the world. At least from our perspective. From the day we are born, the dark cloud of death hangs over us like a shroud and will never leave until we come with it. I think I can safely speak for everyone when I say that: Death passes up no opportunity to remind us he's there. We've all seen it in the passing of a loved one, a family pet, the news reports on tv, or even just a dead possum on the side of the road.

    Through all of this, it becomes rather difficult to even shore up the willpower to continue living each day as you know that whatever you do, it'll ultimately end before its done, and you'll end up as just another one of the billions of things that die each year; a simple statistic on someones newspaper as they drink their morning coffee. The sheer lack of overall purpose in your existence can easily drive you to wish to end it as soon as possible. Many people do in fact.

    That's the one thing you need to continue existing: purpose. It can be something as simple as getting up each day to see the sunrise, working towards that dream house you know you'll be too old to fully enjoy by the time its yours, or picking up a hobby that takes your mind off of things.

    Another thing that really helps is to have good friends by your side. People you can count on to not betray you when things get rough. The good news is it sounds like you already have a friend just like that. Don't take her friendship for granted, that kind of friendship is something that hardly ever comes to someone, treasure it. I don't know if most people would even go half as far as she did to keep you from killing yourself.

    In the end, I don't know how you feel about anything at all. You don't feel like anyone would even bat an eye at your death, that you're completely worthless to everyone around you, you've said that at least. However, this is one person who'd do anything to keep you around, and that's at least one thing to live for: so you don't hurt someone who's given you nothing but love.
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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by TehInfamousAmos on Thu May 23, 2013 11:52 am

    reim0027 wrote:
    Ren - we sure as hell can ignore that possibility. This forum is about bringing people together. About making their lives better by forming bonds under a common love. All of our posts should serve to emphasize and reinforce that.

    Satoshi, hang in there. If nothing else, you have a support group here who can feel what you feel, who have gone through the feelings you have.

    I personally don't have empathy for people in many situations. I act like I have because otherwise I would be frowned upon for the perversion of social etiquette - I generally dislike a lot of people but I refuse to bring it up with them because it wastes too much energy from both sides. Anyway...


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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by reim0027 on Thu May 23, 2013 10:56 pm

    TehInfamousAmos wrote:
    reim0027 wrote:
    Ren - we sure as hell can ignore that possibility. This forum is about bringing people together. About making their lives better by forming bonds under a common love. All of our posts should serve to emphasize and reinforce that.

    Satoshi, hang in there. If nothing else, you have a support group here who can feel what you feel, who have gone through the feelings you have.

    . . . I generally dislike a lot of people but I refuse to bring it up with them because it wastes too much energy from both sides. Anyway...
    Then, you are making a good decision. We get way more out of life by building bridges, not tearing them down.


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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by bloodpixel on Mon May 27, 2013 2:53 pm

    Cheer up, Hopeless Masquerade came out.


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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Mon May 27, 2013 4:26 pm



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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Encore on Mon May 27, 2013 4:40 pm

    Should this thread not be locked? I mean the purpose of it is over.


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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Mon May 27, 2013 4:42 pm

    Tehdoomgrasp wrote:Should this thread not be locked? I mean the purpose of it is over.
    That's for the forum team to decide.


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    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Encore on Mon May 27, 2013 4:46 pm

    I know that, I just thought from an objective point of view.


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