Attempted Suicide

    Share
    avatar
    Satoshi
    Obsessed
    Obsessed

    Posts : 438
    Reputation : 5
    Join date : 2013-03-16
    Location : Japan

    Attempted Suicide

    Post by Satoshi on Wed May 22, 2013 6:03 pm

    I don't recall if I have said this yet, but if I haven't here it is. I suffer from chronic depression. I have had this since I was around ten, and it has stuck with me for nearly 13 years. I have attempted to kill myself many times in the past, only to fail due to lack of willpower, or someone "saving" me.

    Yesterday, I decided that after pretty much living a complete, yet horrid life, I would end it all. I locked the doors and windows and attached a noose to a metal latch in the ceiling. I got up on a chair and wrapped it around me neck, and kicked the chair down.

    I hung there, slowly suffocating to death. It was painful, and I was scared, but I knew that I would be in a better place. After what felt like an eternity, I started to drift out of consciousness, albeit slowly. I heard some banging, and then a shattering sound.

    My friend broke one of my windows and shot through the gap with multiple cuts. She quickly set the chair up on my feet and forced the noose away from my neck. I ended up breaking down emotionally, and just started crying. She was the only one I could outlet my woes to.

    I just wish I can find a way to kill myself, without others impeding.
    avatar
    WhatDoesThePendantDo?
    Duke's Archivist
    Duke's Archivist

    Posts : 11501
    Reputation : 327
    Join date : 2012-04-18
    Age : 27
    Location : WPB, Florida

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by WhatDoesThePendantDo? on Wed May 22, 2013 6:04 pm

    I'd wish you wouldn't, that's very serious. Please, see about getting yourself committed. This is a situation which calls for professional help.

    avatar
    Satoshi
    Obsessed
    Obsessed

    Posts : 438
    Reputation : 5
    Join date : 2013-03-16
    Location : Japan

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Satoshi on Wed May 22, 2013 6:07 pm

    WhatDoesThePendantDo? wrote:I'd wish you wouldn't, that's very serious. Please, see about getting yourself committed. This is a situation which needs professional help.

    I have been in professional help ever since I was six for having problems with anger, but after that passed, I was in there for depression until I turned 18. It never helped, so I quit trying. It is the friend that I talk to that keeps me going...barely.
    avatar
    WhatDoesThePendantDo?
    Duke's Archivist
    Duke's Archivist

    Posts : 11501
    Reputation : 327
    Join date : 2012-04-18
    Age : 27
    Location : WPB, Florida

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by WhatDoesThePendantDo? on Wed May 22, 2013 6:10 pm

    Do you take any medications?

    avatar
    Soris Ice Goldwing
    Lordvessel
    Lordvessel

    Posts : 7540
    Reputation : 74
    Join date : 2012-12-07
    Age : 22
    Location : Here, there, nowhere

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Soris Ice Goldwing on Wed May 22, 2013 6:10 pm

    No no no no! Satoshi there are ways to see the light in life here. Killing yourself won't solve anything at all. In fact you will end up doing more harm than good as everyone in your life will suffer by your loss. It takes time and a lot of it, depending on what you life is like to realize that living will improve. I got depression too but I managed to deal with it for a long time and things do look better after a bit. Don't kill yourself man, you'll feel hollow. It is not an answer to die like that just a regret you'll never undo.


    _________________
    avatar
    Latitoast
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4520
    Reputation : 40
    Join date : 2013-04-03
    Age : 20
    Location : Rolling in circles while reading manga

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Latitoast on Wed May 22, 2013 6:10 pm

    Please don't.

    If you need to talk to someone, all of us are willing to lend both our ears.

    Just please don't kill yourself.


    _________________
    Gamertag:Leon Kennedy85   LoL Summoner ID, Skype Username, Steam ID:Latitoast
    Current Covenants:Messengers of Velka, The Exiled of Ariamis, The Darkstalkers


    User1
    Abyss Dweller
    Abyss Dweller

    Posts : 9912
    Reputation : 106
    Join date : 2012-12-18

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by User1 on Wed May 22, 2013 6:12 pm

    Satoshi, I doubt any one really wants you gone from this world, even if you have depression, life isn't normally worth killing yourself for. After attempting suicide twice myself, I know if you don't die, you feel all the worse for it. edited


    Last edited by reim0027 on Wed May 22, 2013 10:11 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Renny, you know why I edited this out. Please don't do it again.)
    avatar
    Soris Ice Goldwing
    Lordvessel
    Lordvessel

    Posts : 7540
    Reputation : 74
    Join date : 2012-12-07
    Age : 22
    Location : Here, there, nowhere

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Soris Ice Goldwing on Wed May 22, 2013 6:15 pm

    Don't help him commit suicide Renny! Please god don't do it Satoshi.


    _________________
    avatar
    Latitoast
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4520
    Reputation : 40
    Join date : 2013-04-03
    Age : 20
    Location : Rolling in circles while reading manga

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Latitoast on Wed May 22, 2013 6:17 pm

    I've contemplated suicide before, but I found reasons to go on.

    You may not realize it now, but life is worth living, and nobody wants to see you go.


    _________________
    Gamertag:Leon Kennedy85   LoL Summoner ID, Skype Username, Steam ID:Latitoast
    Current Covenants:Messengers of Velka, The Exiled of Ariamis, The Darkstalkers

    avatar
    Hatsune Miku
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4239
    Reputation : 6
    Join date : 2012-10-12
    Age : 27
    Location : Sweet Devil

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Wed May 22, 2013 6:17 pm

    Read all of this for little shocker at the end.

    I suffered from severe depression for 10 years. During those last 3 years is when I turned my life around to a direction that I still go today. Not to push this down your throat or anything, but personally, I owe it to the Holy Trinity for forgiveness and guidance, and prayer.
    If hadn't taken the time to say give a serious prayer, ask for forgiveness, and hang in there for 3 more years. I probley wouldn't be here today.
    I'm a lot happier than I've ever been. But that doesn't mean I have my down times. But for the most part I'm satisfied and happy.

    I've attempted suicide at least one time during my years of depression. But it was a lack of willpower to get it done. That may or may not be the shocker. Depends on your experience on life.

    If there is anything that I can help you with let me know.


    _________________
    Signature created by me, Hatsune Miku.
    avatar
    PlasticandRage
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 5280
    Reputation : 123
    Join date : 2012-01-27
    Age : 34
    Location : New York

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by PlasticandRage on Wed May 22, 2013 6:19 pm

    We have a thread here for working out our issues with each other. Feel free to post wherever you feel it's most appropriate, but you can think of our "Let it Out" thread as a safe place. A lot of us go there to vent, or talk about things in our lives we feel like we can't handle and need input, or just someone to listen. I think you'll find that people here are very welcoming and supportive, and despite not being IRL friends, would not want you to harm yourself.


    _________________
    All great men have mustaches.

    TIGER UPPERCUT!

    PSN: PlasticAndRage
    avatar
    Soris Ice Goldwing
    Lordvessel
    Lordvessel

    Posts : 7540
    Reputation : 74
    Join date : 2012-12-07
    Age : 22
    Location : Here, there, nowhere

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Soris Ice Goldwing on Wed May 22, 2013 6:19 pm

    As can I. We are here to help you Satoshi.


    _________________
    avatar
    Hatsune Miku
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4239
    Reputation : 6
    Join date : 2012-10-12
    Age : 27
    Location : Sweet Devil

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Wed May 22, 2013 6:19 pm

    Satoshi wrote:
    WhatDoesThePendantDo? wrote:I'd wish you wouldn't, that's very serious. Please, see about getting yourself committed. This is a situation which needs professional help.

    I have been in professional help ever since I was six for having problems with anger, but after that passed, I was in there for depression until I turned 18. It never helped, so I quit trying. It is the friend that I talk to that keeps me going...barely.
    Are you bipolar like me?


    _________________
    Signature created by me, Hatsune Miku.
    avatar
    skarekrow13
    Chat Moderator

    Posts : 10236
    Reputation : 410
    Join date : 2012-01-27
    Location : Ralph Wilson Stadium

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by skarekrow13 on Wed May 22, 2013 6:24 pm

    I can't add anything except another voice saying, "we're here for you"

    avatar
    Satoshi
    Obsessed
    Obsessed

    Posts : 438
    Reputation : 5
    Join date : 2013-03-16
    Location : Japan

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Satoshi on Wed May 22, 2013 6:25 pm

    Latitoast wrote:Please don't.

    If you need to talk to someone, all of us are willing to lend both our ears.

    Just please don't kill yourself.

    I appreciate it, but I just don't feel as...cheerful as I used to be. It has gotten significantly worse lately to the point that I have rejected going anywhere for quite a while. It is hard not to commit suicide.

    Soris Ice Goldwing wrote:No no no no! Satoshi there are ways to see the light in life here. Killing yourself won't solve anything at all. In fact you will end up doing more harm than good as everyone in your life will suffer by your loss. It takes time and a lot of it, depending on what you life is like to realize that living will improve. I got depression too but I managed to deal with it for a long time and things do look better after a bit. Don't kill yourself man, you'll feel hollow. It is not an answer to die like that just a regret you'll never undo.

    I would be doing more harm than good? "Everyone" in my life counts as one person, my other friends hate me now for what I have done, so there is only one person in my life. My life has never improved. From teasing when I was young, to beatings when I got older, to even getting assaulted and shot many times a year ago. I doubt that life will get better. I might regret it? It is something I wanted to do ever since I was young, it will be amazing to let go of this hell I call my life!

    WhatDoesThePendantDo? wrote:Do you take any medications?

    I used to. It made me hallucinate, become weak, and even worsen my depression. I refuse to take that medicine again.

    Renny™ wrote:Satoshi, I doubt any one really wants you gone from this world, even if you have depression, life isn't normally worth killing yourself for. After attempting suicide twice myself, I know if you don't die, you feel all the worse for it. edited

    Many, many people want me gone from this world, mainly due to just...well...existing and taking up precious space on this rock. I don't mean to be rude, but is it easy to legally get cyanide pills, and where?

    Fluttershy wrote:
    Are you bipolar like me?

    Yes, but recently, it has decreased dramatically. I now only feel despair, and my mood swings are very little, as I still feel terrible if I talk to my friend.
    avatar
    Encore
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4317
    Reputation : 28
    Join date : 2013-05-12
    Age : 20
    Location : Bracing myself for the Winds of Change, being supported by the towering pillars of my friends.

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Encore on Wed May 22, 2013 6:30 pm

    Satoshi wrote: I don't recall if I have said this yet, but if I haven't here it is. I suffer from chronic depression. I have had this since I was around ten, and it has stuck with me for nearly 13 years. I have attempted to kill myself many times in the past, only to fail due to lack of willpower, or someone "saving" me.

    Yesterday, I decided that after pretty much living a complete, yet horrid life, I would end it all. I locked the doors and windows and attached a noose to a metal latch in the ceiling. I got up on a chair and wrapped it around me neck, and kicked the chair down.

    I hung there, slowly suffocating to death. It was painful, and I was scared, but I knew that I would be in a better place. After what felt like an eternity, I started to drift out of consciousness, albeit slowly. I heard some banging, and then a shattering sound.

    My friend broke one of my windows and shot through the gap with multiple cuts. She quickly set the chair up on my feet and forced the noose away from my neck. I ended up breaking down emotionally, and just started crying. She was the only one I could outlet my woes to.

    I just wish I can find a way to kill myself, without others impeding.

    Killing is never the best solution. I do not really know what else to say, but I would hale anyone, even people that I do not know.

    I cannot be the judge of another people life, but fact is, there is always someone, somewhere, that will have it worse. That is not a sentence that I type easily when writing to someone with sucidal tendencies, but I think that thinking like that, and making it a goal to make the world a better place helps us, as human beings, to carry on, even when everything seems bleak and dark.

    Fact is, life on this planet is s*it, and carrying on can sometimes feel hard and take it´s toll on you, only by overcomming these bad situations´, not by yourself but collectively with friends and family, can we make something of ourself.

    We, as human beings are all working against a failing world, with more or less permanent war somewhere on this planet, with thousands children dying, but I like to think that it is getting better, for everybody, people are living longer than ever, the collective strenght of the human race is stronger than ever before, and we need everyone to contribute.

    This world might be bad, but it is a lot worse without you. I do Not know you personally, but if you need to "talk" with someone, I, as a strange, is willing to listen, and not criticise. And I am sure many more is as willing as me to listen and understand.

    Is what I said here wrong? If so I would like someone to notify me, I mean no offense to anyone, especially in a sensetive case like this. I wish only to support all the people that I can.


    _________________
    It is all like the repeating drip of thickening oil...

    Song of Myself
    avatar
    WhatDoesThePendantDo?
    Duke's Archivist
    Duke's Archivist

    Posts : 11501
    Reputation : 327
    Join date : 2012-04-18
    Age : 27
    Location : WPB, Florida

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by WhatDoesThePendantDo? on Wed May 22, 2013 6:32 pm

    I know this may sound silly but do you own a pet? Animals have been known to help sufferers.

    avatar
    Hatsune Miku
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4239
    Reputation : 6
    Join date : 2012-10-12
    Age : 27
    Location : Sweet Devil

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Wed May 22, 2013 6:33 pm

    I'll be looking for you in the PMs.


    _________________
    Signature created by me, Hatsune Miku.
    avatar
    Hatsune Miku
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4239
    Reputation : 6
    Join date : 2012-10-12
    Age : 27
    Location : Sweet Devil

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Wed May 22, 2013 6:35 pm

    Would you hush up Renny!
    You're not making this any better.


    _________________
    Signature created by me, Hatsune Miku.
    avatar
    Latitoast
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4520
    Reputation : 40
    Join date : 2013-04-03
    Age : 20
    Location : Rolling in circles while reading manga

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Latitoast on Wed May 22, 2013 6:35 pm

    Satoshi you're a wonderful person.

    You have more than just one friend, everyone here is your friend, and none of us want to see you kill yourself.

    I've been in the exact position you're in right now, depressed, convinced everyone in the world hated me, but two people helped me realize that life is worth living.

    Your life will get better, killing yourself is the worst thing you can do.


    _________________
    Gamertag:Leon Kennedy85   LoL Summoner ID, Skype Username, Steam ID:Latitoast
    Current Covenants:Messengers of Velka, The Exiled of Ariamis, The Darkstalkers

    avatar
    skarekrow13
    Chat Moderator

    Posts : 10236
    Reputation : 410
    Join date : 2012-01-27
    Location : Ralph Wilson Stadium

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by skarekrow13 on Wed May 22, 2013 6:36 pm

    Renny, for a very wide range of reasons, that's not a topic that should be continued


    User1
    Abyss Dweller
    Abyss Dweller

    Posts : 9912
    Reputation : 106
    Join date : 2012-12-18

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by User1 on Wed May 22, 2013 6:38 pm

    Fluttershy wrote:Would you hush up Renny!
    You're not making this any better.

    Well, I apologise, but I was asked. Also, there is no true bright side to this. This is a dark situation. We can't just ignore other possibilities.
    avatar
    Soris Ice Goldwing
    Lordvessel
    Lordvessel

    Posts : 7540
    Reputation : 74
    Join date : 2012-12-07
    Age : 22
    Location : Here, there, nowhere

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Soris Ice Goldwing on Wed May 22, 2013 6:40 pm

    Satoshi I am an 18 year anti-social who can't even talk to a person without manipulating something so I can speak. Want my history? It goes like this: At age 5 my health dropped to the point I may have died at any moment. Take me to a store I end up in a hospital fighting to breathe. I never had any amount of physical strength and was way too dependent on others because I was scared. I went to puberty at 9. When I got to the fourth grade I was a shut-in who no one ever talked to and got harassed for the year. Fifth grade same thing but I got expelled for proving to be a risk to a school. Depression and high anxiety ensues and I tried to fire a bullet into my head, left a letter and everything. I couldn't do it. Fast forward to 2011 my parent get into a nasty legal divorce with me getting dragged into and I was fat. Left mental scarring and my depression worsened to the point I tried five times to subtly die and school was hell. Last year my trust in people broke entirely and I gave up. Grades slipped and I only reason I stopped was because of my mother who I am really trying myself to keep alive as well.

    I understand a lot of things but suffering and the pain of life is something I excel at. Talk to me or other people for help here. It will do you good. Oh and I am still dealing with my issues as well. Life is not pleasant but can be happy only when you can control it. What I wrote is not intended to divert attention, I got things figured out myself, but it does show I know what hell is and I want to help you stay alive.


    Last edited by Soris Ice Goldwing on Wed May 22, 2013 6:41 pm; edited 1 time in total


    _________________
    avatar
    KrazykevS10
    Hollowed
    Hollowed

    Posts : 1566
    Reputation : 36
    Join date : 2013-01-28
    Age : 24
    Location : Ireland

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by KrazykevS10 on Wed May 22, 2013 6:41 pm

    I'll be another one to jump on the attempted suicide bandwagon.It wasn't so much lack of will or anyone else stopping me all those times so much as stubborness.

    If you've lived all of these years,why throw it away now? You could easily be a short time away from finding something or someone to live for.There must be something you want or something that makes you just a little bit happy.I'd recommend you focus on that and not on the bad things.

    If your friend injured herself in panic just trying to save you,there is one person who geniunely cares about you.Think how it would crush her if you died,I doubt you want to put her through that.And look at how many of us will talk to you,it isn't like nobody cares at all.


    _________________
    avatar
    Satoshi
    Obsessed
    Obsessed

    Posts : 438
    Reputation : 5
    Join date : 2013-03-16
    Location : Japan

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Satoshi on Wed May 22, 2013 6:42 pm

    Tehdoomgrasp wrote:



    Fact is, life on this planet is s*it, and carrying on can sometimes feel hard and take it´s toll on you, only by overcomming these bad situations´, not by yourself but collectively with friends and family, can we make something of ourself.


    That word destroyed me. Sure, I might have one friend, but in my family is dead. My father by old age, my mother and all the others by drug overdose. I am literally the last survivor in my entire family.

    I am going to ask my friend and see what she would say to "What would happen if I killed myself?"



    Sponsored content

    Re: Attempted Suicide

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Sat Aug 19, 2017 1:43 pm