Is this a good idea?

    Share

    Poll

    Is this a good idea?

    [ 2 ]
    67% [67%] 
    [ 0 ]
    0% [0%] 
    [ 1 ]
    33% [33%] 
    [ 0 ]
    0% [0%] 

    Total Votes: 3
    avatar
    GrinTwist
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4185
    Reputation : 98
    Join date : 2012-07-22
    Location : New Londo Ruins, Illinois: Living in Tart's torture chamber

    Is this a good idea?

    Post by GrinTwist on Mon May 20, 2013 2:50 pm

    WARNING : Long Read!
    I have came to off-topic for the past week wanting to post this only to get distracted. Wait, no this isn't on topic.

    Okay, one of the things I like to do a lot of in my spare time is write and to cut to the chase I developed the idea of a story.

    Here is a bit of background:

    Set in the near future of the Universe a large organized set of alliances have developed called "Sanos".

    Essentially this group is made up of both mythical creatures such as elves, Large Sentient Boars, supercomputers have developed personalities etc.

    However, there is a small problem with the Elves of the alliance. Their brains have developed differently unlike many other creatures within the alliance and they have developed the ability to materialize items. This becomes a problem because they start to unintentionally cause a new type of creature through this power though called, "Conceptual Creatures".

    These creatures, unlike most, do not have a physical body and in some cases are near impossible to kill. How these creatures are formed are through the emotional outbursts and breakdowns. Thus they can be formed from either an outburst of joy from a couple being married or the mental destruction of one of these Elves. With one of the largest issues being the conceptual creatures ability to change the way non-sentient creatures think. Such as if a creature formed from a mental break down they would be able to change the mindset of a large passive creature to a violent mindset instead.

    The only way Sanos was able to figure this out was by capturing creatures that have been affected by the conceptual creatures and analyzing the brain to figure out that their brain has been tampered with. (I'm still working on putting everything together with this)

    It is also because of the conceptual creatures that the Elves are eventually individually treated for every mental illness known, in order to prevent the creation of Conceptual Creatures. However this does not work as well as planned as the Elves start revolting, creating more violence on a Universal scale.

    Enter another race that are basically the clean-up crew for everything, the Obsolis.

    The Obsolis are basically creatures that have gained the closest thing to Immortality available. The reason for this being that they are not born completely intact. They are instead born with only a physical body with their conscious, semi-conscious, and emotions stored within physical discs that form within space. It's because of this that the Obsolis are normally demonized as "Abominations" for their ability to live forever unlike the other races.

    It's because of this that an Obsolis by the name of Trua is forced into fixing the situation and must also stop a conceptual creature that has grown considerably in power called the Wuar that is now not only effecting non-sentient life but is also in the process of developing a violent celestial being that could destroy planets.

    I might as well explain what a celestial being is too. Celestial beings are essentially planetary sized creatures. So far there have only been tales about these creatures existing but in reality they have never existed.

    However, while interacting with both parties Trua starts to question their mission to save both sides because of how flawed and violent both sides really are. Eventually coming to the conclusion on whether both parties should live or die by the coming apocalypse that the celestial being may bring.

    So what do you think? Is this a good concept for a book?

    I'm starting to write the outline for it write now but I would like some criticism.



    _________________
    Boring life? Join a cult.
    avatar
    Hatsune Miku
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4239
    Reputation : 6
    Join date : 2012-10-12
    Age : 27
    Location : Sweet Devil

    Re: Is this a good idea?

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Mon May 20, 2013 2:53 pm

    First!
    I'll respond later.
    EDIT:
    My response:
    This doesn't seem to be my kind of story. But I did read through your post.
    But I'm just going to stay out of this one. Unless it changes some how. Sorry.


    Last edited by Fluttershy on Mon May 20, 2013 2:58 pm; edited 1 time in total


    _________________
    Signature created by me, Hatsune Miku.

    User1
    Abyss Dweller
    Abyss Dweller

    Posts : 9912
    Reputation : 106
    Join date : 2012-12-18

    Re: Is this a good idea?

    Post by User1 on Mon May 20, 2013 2:56 pm

    A very interesting selection of detail and attention to things. Some of the ideas are very imaginative, and the ideas behind the different races and the occurance of some things (such as the corporeal beings). I don't really have much to say on the matter as of this moment, but will get back to you when I have ideas.
    avatar
    GrinTwist
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4185
    Reputation : 98
    Join date : 2012-07-22
    Location : New Londo Ruins, Illinois: Living in Tart's torture chamber

    Re: Is this a good idea?

    Post by GrinTwist on Mon May 20, 2013 2:58 pm

    Alright, well I'm just looking for some feedback. I don't mind waiting for it either. silly


    _________________
    Boring life? Join a cult.
    avatar
    Serious_Much
    Moderator Trainee
    Moderator Trainee

    Posts : 14641
    Reputation : 287
    Join date : 2012-01-17
    Age : 25
    Location : The Dark Side of the Moon

    Re: Is this a good idea?

    Post by Serious_Much on Mon May 20, 2013 3:11 pm

    Firstly- Is there really any need for there to be elves in the story? It seems very pointless and just thrown in as a casting net to trap fanboys of epic fantasy. Sentient animals though?- why not, they're always fun.

    Anyways- The story is so out there and crazy I simply don't get it. It's a bit too complex.

    I feel the osboris (if they do stay in the book) shouldn't be any different to the elves, just well trained- sorta like the difference between a normal person and a blade runner in the eponymous film. Maybe all elves should be osboris, maybe the osboris elves? It doesn't matter, but i feel adding in the extra layer is putting a bit too much into the pre plot of the book.

    A layered story is fine, but add the layers over the course of the novel rather than whacking them all in the preface and overwhelming the reader with different (and exceedingly complex) beings to come to grips with.

    I also feel that you need something that people can relate to initially. One common theme in sci fi and fantasy is there is always characters that are human. This is important as we as readers amidst the alien universe and strange beings like to cling onto something familiar.


    _________________
    PSN and other stuff:
    PSN: HolyPK9 "You are free to sever the chains of fate that bind you"

    Sage Andarta, Founder of the Crystal Seekers; The Noble Knights

    Principal GremSay of the Karmatic Gremlin Gang

    Moderator of the Wiki Chatroom- Come join the fun  cheers

    PRAISE. THE. SUN. lol!
    avatar
    skarekrow13
    Chat Moderator

    Posts : 10236
    Reputation : 410
    Join date : 2012-01-27
    Location : Ralph Wilson Stadium

    Re: Is this a good idea?

    Post by skarekrow13 on Mon May 20, 2013 3:15 pm

    Here's the thing with writing, when you pitch an idea it's often gonna sound crazy or far out there. Take this for example, in a society glued to their communication devices a choreographed mass signal wipes the majority of the human race's minds blank, creating a world of zombies. Sounds like a cheap made for TV SyFy channel movie. But that's the premise of the book "Cell" by Stephen King.

    Or, an autistic child and his family visit a remote area in New Mexico. An evil spirit possesses the boy and uses his unique traits to materialize a neighborhood's worst nightmare....in the form of the child's favorite TV show. Another Stephen King book.

    Anyway, I love Stephen King.

    Wait....what was I saying? Oh yes, both of those are great books. From the pitch, you can lose a lot of audience because as an idea it might be far out. Too far for some. Now then, your idea is no more far out than those and you have a framework going. The difference between it being garbage and a masterpiece then is you. You need to tell the story. You need to make the reader become invested.

    King has gotten away with some really silly **** in his life because he has a knack for making you care about what happens. You do that and your story is gold no matter what.

    Last thought, unless you write it, no one will ever know

    avatar
    SirArchmage
    Insomniac
    Insomniac

    Posts : 1146
    Reputation : 85
    Join date : 2013-04-24
    Age : 21
    Location : 537 Paper Street Soap Company

    Re: Is this a good idea?

    Post by SirArchmage on Mon May 20, 2013 4:25 pm

    I question the inclusion of elves the same as Serious does. And with the osboris the way you put them in and make them will very much decide if people will love them or think they're stupid. Fantasy is surprising easy to goof up, and if you are looking to make any mythical creatures accurate to their histories ask me for help. I know a lot and the Fae, and a bit about Greek and Norse. Or even if you are shaping them based completely off your own ideas then I could help you make them a bit realistic at least.


    _________________
    :sign: I don't kill you in the most effective of ways. I kill you in the funniest. :sign:
    "Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."
    -Ernest Hemmingway

    The Heretic was here twisted Mwa haha
    avatar
    Encore
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4317
    Reputation : 28
    Join date : 2013-05-12
    Age : 20
    Location : Bracing myself for the Winds of Change, being supported by the towering pillars of my friends.

    Re: Is this a good idea?

    Post by Encore on Mon May 20, 2013 5:18 pm

    I thought it was nice.


    _________________
    It is all like the repeating drip of thickening oil...

    Song of Myself
    avatar
    GrinTwist
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4185
    Reputation : 98
    Join date : 2012-07-22
    Location : New Londo Ruins, Illinois: Living in Tart's torture chamber

    Re: Is this a good idea?

    Post by GrinTwist on Mon May 20, 2013 6:04 pm

    Again, this isn't even the basic setup of it. I'm currently writing the outline now and then I'll actually write and re-write it at least twice. It'll take a year at the very least.

    Also I might erase the inclusion of elves and replace it with a more advanced race of humans... or maybe just one. It depends, this is still the beginning stages, I just wanted to try something different by showing the most basic of information of it all.

    It's also a bit different for me too, I normally write gothicism and romanticism. This is a bit out of my niche but I like trying new things.

    Anyways, back to the drawing board!


    _________________
    Boring life? Join a cult.
    avatar
    Hatsune Miku
    Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead

    Posts : 4239
    Reputation : 6
    Join date : 2012-10-12
    Age : 27
    Location : Sweet Devil

    Re: Is this a good idea?

    Post by Hatsune Miku on Mon May 20, 2013 10:41 pm

    Serious_Much wrote:Anyways- The story is so out there and crazy I simply don't get it. It's a bit too complex.
    This is the reason I don't like.


    _________________
    Signature created by me, Hatsune Miku.

    Sponsored content

    Re: Is this a good idea?

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Thu Oct 19, 2017 12:36 am