Story time

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    SirArchmage
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    Story time

    Post by SirArchmage on Fri May 10, 2013 6:33 pm

    I am a writer of sorts. I enjoy my ability to make stories. And a few months ago, in school we were required to write a story from the perspective of someone that was not the main character in a popular story. So if you wrote a story about Harry Potter, it would be from maybe Ron Weasley's perspective. I did it from the perspective of Claudia in "Interview with a Vampire" and I loved the work I did so much, I began to make a Dark Souls version. But as I began writing, it loomed on me. This is going to be very, very long. And I will have to revise and edit this. A lot. So I never finished it and it sunk to the bottom of my computers memory. But when I started to post on the forums, I thought about it again. And I wanted to see if it was worth continuing. Now, I know this is the off-topic thread and it is suppose to be about nothing Souls related, but I didn't know where else to post it. This is what I have so far, so comment on it and tell me if it is worth salvaging. Also tell me if I should post this in a different part of the forums.

    The Dark Soul

    Day 1
    I do not know where I am. Or who I am, really. I have fuzzy memories of things, possibly of who I used to be. I had a family? Or am I killing that family, which I see in my memories? I do not know. I am in a prison cell, and wearing what seems to be a full suit of knight armor. I found a journal in one of my pockets, so I thought I might as well write in it. There is a small crack in the ceiling, so I at least have some light. Though I stepped into the light, and couldn’t bear what I saw. My skin was a dark brown. Not the dark brown skin of a living person but one that has decayed and is a long dead corpse. I knew then what I was. I was undead, and cursed to live after death, eventually to lose my mind and become hollow.

    Entry 2
    The sun does not move. It does not set. It is simply there, up in the sky. Impossible to count the days that pass. So I decided to label these as entries rather than days. And though I cannot tell time with the sun the way it is, it seems like a few days since I last wrote.

    Entry 3
    A body fell down from my skylight. I looked up and saw a knight staring down at me, seeming to have done this on purpose. Why would he do this? For fun? Is he making a mockery of me with this? I than look closer at the body and notice that the only thing remaining on the hollowed, undead body is a key ring, with a single key on it. Grabbing the key, I stand up and walk over to the door of my cell. I reach my chain mail covered hands around the bars and put the key in. It unlocks, and slowly swings open, the door groaning loudly as though it was never meant to be opened. I am free? I stare at the hallway before me, and begin my careful walk forward.

    Entry 4
    I have died. But how can I be writing this? After I left the cell I encountered a bonfire in a large room. It had a curved sword stuck through the middle, and was surrounded by ashes and charred logs. Upon me touching the handle of the sword, it sprung alight, engulfing the sword and ashes in flame. I was curious about how it was happening, but then again, I am undead, and that in itself is unexplainable. After leaving the bonfire, I walked into another large room, this one with pots all along the walls and more than a dozen pillars rising up to the ceiling. There was also a balcony, on the other side of the room and more than fifty meters up. I could see the sky though the balcony, see the light coming from that never moving sun. Walking forward a few steps, I saw that in the middle of the room was something scrawled on the floor. It was in orange lettering, and though I would not be able to say what language it was in I could nevertheless read it perfectly and clearly. It said, “Run!” As soon as I finished reading it, a giant ogre jumped down from who-knows-where and let out a giant roar. It was as large as a two story house, possibly bigger, with green skin all over it. It had a small head on top of a very large, bottom-heavy body. It had small wings on it’s back, looking as though he simply ripped them off an eagle-sized bat and stuck them on himself. I would have laughed about it, if not for right after his deafening and twisted roar he lunged forward with a giant club the size of a great oak tree. It was the last thing I saw. Next thing I knew I was sitting in front of the bonfire, completely undamaged. I cannot say how, but nevertheless, I am thankful that that beast did not kill me forever.


    Entry 5
    I have gotten past the beast. When I went back into the room, the beast was gone. No body of mine either. I searched around the room for a bit, and found a door that lead to what seemed to be a sewer. Right as I found it the beast came back, and I swore that I saw blood on the club from when it hit me before. I ran for the tunnel, where it was much too large to follow, and found another bonfire. I rested at this one for a time, thankful to make it past the beast, but thought it best to leave and venture further. The sooner I make it out of this prison, the better. But right after I left I was greeted by another person, looking in the same manner as myself though with only a loincloth covering himself. He was obviously hollow, as his reaction to seeing me was to let out a hideous hissing sound and begin shooting arrows at me. Realizing what he was doing, I ran forward and ducked into a prison cell that has had its cell door broken off. Inside, there was nothing but a dirt floor for furnishing, as it was with my cell. There was also the body of a knight, wearing only a helmet, but had a straight sword and a shield beside him. The shield had the face of a lion on it, with red and gold painting around the surface. I would have smiled, if my torn apart and decayed body was able to do so without cracking my dried up lips in half. I ran back into the hallway, with shield raised and sword at my side, and ran towards the hollow. It seemed so natural to me, to have to duck behind my shield, to feel the hard hit of the arrow against the metal, and the beautiful sound of the blade swinging through the air to hit it’s target. I can barely even recall the fight, but I remember the sound of the hollows head thumping against the ground and rolling down the sloped hallway, stopping only when it hit a pile of rubble. Funny. Undead killing undead. I may never find a more pointless thing in the world.

    Entry 6
    I have slain the beast. I have killed that wretched and terrible thing, but let me explain first how that came to be. After killing the hollow, I went further into the prison and found myself on a walkway above a room. I went to the edge and looked down, and was surprised to see that I was looking at the first bonfire I found. Odd how far up that tunnel went. And with a quick look around I found a stone staircase leading further upward. There were no torches on the wall up there, so I could not see the top. I could see no other place to go, so I went up it. And immediately after was crushed by a very large, metal ball that came rolling down the staircase. I woke up at the bonfire in the room right after that large beast. Yet again I die and am brought back. Somehow. And of all places, at a bonfire? This place is strange, indeed, though nevertheless I trekked back to the staircase that I died at. The metal boulder appeared to have smashed though a wall to another room, a room with light pouring into it from the broken ceiling. It was then that I heard coughing from the room. Another hollow? Though the one I met before was only capable of hissing. With my shield raised and straight sword at the ready, I walked into the room, only to find the knight that had given me the keys to my cell, lying in a pile of rubble. Approaching him, he only seemed to notice me when I was just a foot away. He looked up to stare at me, though I could see nothing past his steel helm. “Wait, your no hollow, eh?” He spoke! These are perhaps the first words that I have heard in I do not know how long. I understand the language he speaks perfectly, just like the writing on the ground previously. In life, maybe we were in the same army? Standing side by side to ward off invaders? Our armor even looks similar. But now, we are here. In the bowels of this prison for the undead. He began to speak again, though his voice was getting raspy, obviously struggling to speak. “Thank godness……I'm done for, I'm afraid……I'll die soon, then lose my sanity……I wish to ask something of you……You and I, we're both Undead… Hear me out, will you? Regrettably, I have failed in my mission…… But perhaps you can keep the torch lit…… There is an old saying in my family…… Thou who art Undead, art chosen…… In thine exodus from the Undead Asylum, maketh pilgrimage to the land of Ancient Lords…… When thou ringeth the Bell of Awakening, the fate of the Undead thou shalt know.… Well, now you know… And I can die with hope in my heart……Now I must bid farewell…… I would hate to harm you after death… So, go now….And thank you.” His head lolled to the side, and I feared that he now was dead. Whatever kept him onto life went away after he told me his mission. What did he mean? Land of the Ancient lords? Bell of Awakening? I feel as though if I were alive, I would understand the meaning perfectly. There is a faint feeling, in the back of my mind, that clicked with rememberance when he said that. Though remembering what, exactly, I do not know past the information he gave me. I walked away from him then, and back up the stairway, hopeful that another boulder would not come crashing down to kill me, but still ready to leap out of the way if it does. I reached the top, without being crushed, and came to face another hollow. With a sword and shield, and having already killed one hollow, this one was easy to dispatch. I struck it down before it could even attack me, and continued down what appeared to be a hallway to the outside. I could see outside, and it looked like a balcony of some sorts. Perhaps a way out? It seemed like being too hopeful, that I would find a way out already, but I went forward to the end of the hallway. Lo and behold, the prison is ontop of a giant mountain with cliff faces on every side. Splendid. I did not have much time to curse this prison and everything in it once again for two more hollows appeared around the corner. Two this time? A bit more difficult, but handleble. I ran forward the two of them, and as I was about ready to cut down the first one, an arrow came from behind them and implanted myself in my shoulder. I let out a yell of pain, which came out as a hoarse rasp, and just barely managed to raise up my shield to block the two hollows attacks, in which they slammed upon my shield with broken straight swords. I waited until I felt the next arrow hit my shield, and then I quickly swung my sword as hard as I could through the two hollows. The first one sliced clean in half, their decaying bodies easy to slice through. My sword stuck halfway through the second one, so I kicked it’s body back to dislodge my sword. I ran towards the hollow that shot the arrow at me, my shield raised up. Right after I felt the arrow hit my shield, I ran the hollow through with my blade, impaling it between the ribcage. I kicked it off my sword, feeling glad to kill the thing that shot me. Now that they are dead, I can finally take a look at my surroundings. I am on a balcony of some sorts, overlooking the many cliffs around me. The balcony, like most things in this place, is made of a dark brown cobblestone, with parts of the balcony falling apart, being eroded by nature. How old is this place?


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    Re: Story time

    Post by WhatDoesThePendantDo? on Fri May 10, 2013 6:35 pm

    Nice, a bedtime story for me to read when I go to sleep tonight. winking


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    Re: Story time

    Post by User1 on Fri May 10, 2013 6:39 pm

    I actually took the time to read through the whole thing, Stefano!
    I loved it! Very creative, and great descriptions of details, +1 (when I can give it) to you!
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    Re: Story time

    Post by WhatDoesThePendantDo? on Fri May 10, 2013 6:41 pm

    Hater. tongue


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    Re: Story time

    Post by User1 on Fri May 10, 2013 6:43 pm

    Chumad that Renegade's fiance is on right now.
    Now get off your arse and do some reading. tongue
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    Re: Story time

    Post by WhatDoesThePendantDo? on Fri May 10, 2013 6:44 pm

    Wait, is the wifey **** me right now? big grin


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    Re: Story time

    Post by User1 on Fri May 10, 2013 6:46 pm

    WhatDoesThePendantDo? wrote:Wait, is the wifey **** me right now? big grin

    Your intentionally left out word makes me wonder what that means.. big grin
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    Re: Story time

    Post by SirArchmage on Fri May 10, 2013 7:10 pm

    Thanks Renegade. I may work on it this weekend, seeing as I have nothing else to do(Except homework, but who needs A's when you have Dark Souls?). Part of why I started writing a lot was because of much wasted time on Chatango where I roleplayed and learned a lot about detail(But also learned not to make describing the color of a room take up two damn paragraphs). Anything else I have is just school related, so nothing too interesting aside from the Claudia story. Whenever I try to write a story that isn't because of school or isn't based on anything I type 2 sentences, get pissed at it and delete it.

    Also, the dialog is directly from the game. Wanted to make the story as accurate as possible.


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    Re: Story time

    Post by ResIsBestStat on Fri May 10, 2013 7:13 pm

    As soon as I saw the title I knew it was gonna be about Dark Souls
    However as a part time writer i noticed your attention in each part of the story, bravo sir, bravo, i'd give you a +1 if off topic rep counted
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    Re: Story time

    Post by SirArchmage on Fri May 10, 2013 7:18 pm

    ResIsBestStat wrote:As soon as I saw the title I knew it was gonna be about Dark Souls
    However as a part time writer i noticed your attention in each part of the story, bravo sir, bravo, i'd give you a +1 if off topic rep counted
    Which is why if I continue this it will take ages. Think of putting in every little detail that there is in Dark Souls. I of course won't make every battle with every tiny hollow significant, but still describing some of the places and how a person would accurately feel to them.....Difficult. Also how I would need to change the character as the game progresses. You start out as a pitiful little hollow that is killed by everything and end it by being a massively powerful badass god-killing machine. Though I am a bit looking forward to the challenge.

    Edit: Nice "Don't Starve" profile picture. That game is intense.


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    Re: Story time

    Post by ResIsBestStat on Fri May 10, 2013 8:07 pm

    SirArchmage wrote:
    ResIsBestStat wrote:As soon as I saw the title I knew it was gonna be about Dark Souls
    However as a part time writer i noticed your attention in each part of the story, bravo sir, bravo, i'd give you a +1 if off topic rep counted
    Which is why if I continue this it will take ages. Think of putting in every little detail that there is in Dark Souls. I of course won't make every battle with every tiny hollow significant, but still describing some of the places and how a person would accurately feel to them.....Difficult. Also how I would need to change the character as the game progresses. You start out as a pitiful little hollow that is killed by everything and end it by being a massively powerful badass god-killing machine. Though I am a bit looking forward to the challenge.

    Edit: Nice "Don't Starve" profile picture. That game is intense.

    Hmmm, you should try making the Chosen Undead reflect on NPC's, also put the time is distorted thing in the story.
    Also Don't Starve is epic, dat beard

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    Re: Story time

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