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    The "let it out" thread.

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    Post by Tolvo Thu May 02, 2013 6:52 pm

    PlasticandRage wrote:Yeah, thankfully I don't have class today. I only have one on Thursdays and my professor made it a study day. So I'm going to lay around for awhile. I made a doctors appointment too. I cant really do it until the semester is over in a couple weeks though, so I'm kind of just going to have to deal with it. I have about 40 more pages of papers to write and then finals in the next two weeks. I just don't have time to not use every single day I've got

    I hope you start feeling better and can get help from your doctor man.

    I suppose the best advice I can give you is to be thankful you weren't born with a pig for a leg.
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    Post by Mr. Tart Thu May 02, 2013 7:02 pm

    I have to say though, meditating in the snow shirtless is tempting.
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    Post by skarekrow13 Thu May 02, 2013 7:07 pm

    It's not for everyone but it's a unique experience. Relaxing for me
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    Post by twilightwarwolf Sat May 04, 2013 10:12 pm

    I have a question... and i want a truthful answer but how in the world am i even a decent person? I know its stupid and i feel so odd for posting it but i cant find anything to tell me im a decent person. And yet just as i cant find good i cant find good as they both slip from my mind. But i feel like im garbage not even worth being here and yet i feel the same about most people. I also HATE the human race, they sicken me to my core. People murder people for no reason other than greed, people dont care that about the Earth and how badly they are *** it up, and the list goes on and ON. I wish that i had a *** system of nukes to just anihalte the human race so that all the evil might end... and yet how does that help anything? id *** up the earth worse than anyone else. ugh i cant even say i would do it in all honesty id probably destroy the button andand deactivate the nukes. Im weak willed. minded, and just a waste of space. I look at my "friends" and family and see them happy and i wonder how? and why am i not happy with them? Just today my parents were actually happy and were doing well but me? no im in a depression wondering what made today so good? and feeling like **** because i cant find a reason to make it happy. I just realize all the bad things i do and wonder why? And i wonder why i am writing this post especially when i feel like erasing it and just staying in a sulky mood. i know it wont help but i feel so empty and so alone.. and worthless. GOD im such an... i dont even know... ya know i really only have a few things that might make me "happy" and i cant even say they make me happy but rather just numb any feelings away. Music for one thing which is probably the only reason im typing this despite the want to not and just ignore everything. ill stop here and im sorry this is so....typical i guess but i hope i didnt ruin ayone elses day/evening. so yeah...feel free to ignore this...
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    Post by Mr. Tart Sat May 04, 2013 10:21 pm

    twilightwarwolf wrote:I have a question... and i want a truthful answer but how in the world am i even a decent person? I know its stupid and i feel so odd for posting it but i cant find anything to tell me im a decent person. And yet just as i cant find good i cant find good as they both slip from my mind. But i feel like im garbage not even worth being here and yet i feel the same about most people. I also HATE the human race, they sicken me to my core. People murder people for no reason other than greed, people dont care that about the Earth and how badly they are *** it up, and the list goes on and ON. I wish that i had a *** system of nukes to just anihalte the human race so that all the evil might end... and yet how does that help anything? id *** up the earth worse than anyone else. ugh i cant even say i would do it in all honesty id probably destroy the button andand deactivate the nukes. Im weak willed. minded, and just a waste of space. I look at my "friends" and family and see them happy and i wonder how? and why am i not happy with them? Just today my parents were actually happy and were doing well but me? no im in a depression wondering what made today so good? and feeling like **** because i cant find a reason to make it happy. I just realize all the bad things i do and wonder why? And i wonder why i am writing this post especially when i feel like erasing it and just staying in a sulky mood. i know it wont help but i feel so empty and so alone.. and worthless. GOD im such an... i dont even know... ya know i really only have a few things that might make me "happy" and i cant even say they make me happy but rather just numb any feelings away. Music for one thing which is probably the only reason im typing this despite the want to not and just ignore everything. ill stop here and im sorry this is so....typical i guess but i hope i didnt ruin ayone elses day/evening. so yeah...feel free to ignore this...

    Twilight, before anything else? Do you have Skype? If you do, what is it? You see, me and a few guys here on the forum have a "let it out" group were we chat right away.

    Anyway, telling you if you're good or not is hard. Atleast for me. I haven't seen much from you except in this thread, but what i've seen hasn't been bad. To me you seem like a young, troubled mind. But not a bad one. You're depressed, but you're not alone. I for one, am.

    I understand the hatred for humanity, but honestly, you need to look past that. The world is sh*tty sometimes, but you can't do anything about it. All you can do is fight it. So what? People ruin the world. Deal with it. All you can do is fight it through small steps. Donate money to funds if you can. Pick up thrash and put it in the garbage cans, but don't bother thinking too much about it. Try to look at it this way; You have friends, you have a family. They love you, and they care for you. Try to think about that for a while, and appreciate it. And whatever you do, do NOT, i repeat, do NOT let it ruin those relationships, because i know i have, and i regret it.

    Life is hard. It is, but you can't do much about it. Why is it hard to smile and be happy? Because you think too much about it. It's hard to stop thinking about something like that. If not impossible, but you have to try. Let go of all those thoughts, if just for a while, and appreciate what you have.

    Once again, i would really like to know your Skype if you have one, and if you don't, please get one. The group we have has helped quite a lot, and we would like for you to join it too.
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    Post by skarekrow13 Sat May 04, 2013 11:33 pm

    Twilight, for all I know you're a serial killer who likes Dark Souls enough to come chat here. Which is to say, I don't actually know you. I bet you knew that. So why say it? Because I want you to know why I'm going to make a text wall in a minute rather than just say..."you seem nice." I mean you do seem nice but how the **** would I know right?

    Hopefully that didn't sound too harsh (a little is actually fine) because I choose to believe you're a good person who deserves to be happy. But me telling you nice things are no good.

    Yeah, there's plenty of evil and horror in the world and you erasing it would make it worse. Destruction is rarely an answer. I teach a class at work about having positive relationships with our consumer base (adults with developmental disabilities). I always point out to everyone that almost every staff member is willing to accept the shortcomings of the people we provide services to day in and day out.....but God forbid if a co-worker isn't perfect. Then it hits the fan. Everything is about expectation. They expect someone with a diagnosed disability to have flaws. They don't expect it from a "peer." Regardless of how illogical that take on the world is.

    So I have the same challenge for you I give to them...look at the world and expect that everything you see is imperfect. Once you master that, remember that most flaws can't or won't be fixed. Then...ask yourself, will my hatred and anger make a difference? (Hint: no). So then, what will make a difference? Apathy? Avoidance?

    No. The only way to make a difference is to act different. To do different. To be different. Do you hate that most of the world ignores each other? I do. That's why I smile at everyone I walk by. I know it seems tiny but give little things a try. You never know how much you can mean to a stranger in just a few seconds. Imagine what you can do with a lifetime.

    It won't change history like a nuke would, but it's only because bad news gets the most press


    Last edited by skarekrow13 on Sat May 04, 2013 11:35 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    Post by skarekrow13 Sat May 04, 2013 11:34 pm

    By the way......


    big grin
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    Post by Mr. Tart Sat May 04, 2013 11:43 pm

    Skare... I must ask. What do you work with? :suspect:
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    Post by skarekrow13 Sat May 04, 2013 11:48 pm

    A not for profit agency that serves adults (and kids) with disabilities. Down syndrome, MR, autism, traumatic brain injuries, cerebral palsy and many others. I don't usually list the kids in my discussion because, thanks to funding streams being tied to regulatory functioning (it's a long story) I rarely ever have contact with the kids we serve. I'm the agency investigator, aka pain in the *** that bugs people when something goes down
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    Post by Carphil Sun May 05, 2013 12:20 am

    skarekrow13 wrote:A not for profit agency that serves adults (and kids) with disabilities. Down syndrome, MR, autism, traumatic brain injuries, cerebral palsy and many others. I don't usually list the kids in my discussion because, thanks to funding streams being tied to regulatory functioning (it's a long story) I rarely ever have contact with the kids we serve. I'm the agency investigator, aka pain in the *** that bugs people when something goes down

    Yes. But you're also the marketing king big grin
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    Post by Tchuwib Sun May 05, 2013 12:26 am

    It's a bit late at night for me to form much advice here about what Twilight said, but one thing for sure I've learned recently is what you think or believe can affect you greatly and cause collateral damage after.

    For an example I got from my therapist last time. Two people go at a party where they gonna be among friend of them.
    Mr1 think "damn, I'm gonna see this guy, make him feel bad last time, I'm gonna have to play it cool and make sure not to mess up with people. I should also avoid doing this or that because people probably hate it when I do that."
    Mr 2 think "Oh yeah, we gonna get this party starting. Can't wait to see her and him. We gonna have some fun. I can't wait to tell everyone that new joke and make some fun XD"

    Now who do you think gonna be happy and have fun at that party. Because there not two people here in that example, it's the same person. It just the way of thinking and facing situation that gonna affect your life.

    From the quote of the book I've been reading (The power of the present moment..hope it's that in english). You should be the one that control your way of thinking and not what go through your mind that control you. You need to stop yourself and see yourself. Observe the thinker inside of you and make sure that you see what going on.

    Anyway, like I said, probably to scramble in my mind to attach all of it together right, but that's about what I can summon right now. I could probably explain better in my native language, but just keep in mind one quote that really stayed with me and helped me.

    "You are the center of your Universe and only it can obey your will. That's how powerful you are."
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    Post by User1 Sun May 05, 2013 6:31 am

    I feel depressed. And really, I don't know why.

    I have a family and marriage to look forward to, I live with the woman I love, I no longer get constant harassment off people my age. What the hell is wrong with me?

    I have a feeling that I shall soon end up driving away everyone that could be called my friends, as few as they are. I have a feeling that some people, no matter how few actually despise me. I am yet to find out why I think that though.

    Plus, I seem to be progressively becoming a bigger d*ck when I socialise on anything. I'm relentlessly cruel on people who I don't like. And yet I have some friends here, or at least I think I do. And to be honest, I don't know how.

    I'm not sure who could honestly be classified as my friend, but for any that do classify themselves as one of my friends, I am not only surprised, but also very happy for that. As of this moment, I am trying to find the cause of this depression, and am on my way to ending it.
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    Post by EeAyEss Sun May 05, 2013 9:44 am

    Well, renegade, I'm not exactly a close friend but I enjoy your company on the internet. I consider you a friend. happy
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    Post by User1 Sun May 05, 2013 9:53 am

    Good to know. silly
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    Post by User1 Sun May 05, 2013 12:23 pm

    After a bit of thought, I decided to come to a conclusion of a sort.

    My decision being I shall simply block out the thoughts of those who aren't friendly with me. I don't feel the need to reason anymore. I think I may just have to be anything that could be opinionated, narcissistic, anything like that. If there is someone who does not matter to me, I classify their opinion as not mattering now.

    There are several exceptions, and I will most likely use a lot of situations as an exception, but I am just saying.
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    Post by ResIsBestStat Sun May 05, 2013 12:27 pm

    RenegadeCop wrote:After a bit of thought, I decided to come to a conclusion of a sort.

    My decision being I shall simply block out the thoughts of those who aren't friendly with me. I don't feel the need to reason anymore. I think I may just have to be anything that could be opinionated, narcissistic, anything like that. If there is someone who does not matter to me, I classify their opinion as not mattering now.

    There are several exceptions, and I will most likely use a lot of situations as an exception, but I am just saying.

    Have you tried telling this to someone IRL?
    Anyways get this straight: Once you're married you'll have a busy life, taking care of your wife and kids, working etc.
    So yeah, sometimes you won't have time for friends, but that doesn't really mean that you aren't friends with them.
    My dad is married and yet he has lots of friends, but maybe that's because he's a shopkeeper and talks with a lot of people.
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    Post by densetsushun Sun May 05, 2013 12:29 pm

    RenegadeCop wrote:After a bit of thought, I decided to come to a conclusion of a sort.

    My decision being I shall simply block out the thoughts of those who aren't friendly with me. I don't feel the need to reason anymore. I think I may just have to be anything that could be opinionated, narcissistic, anything like that. If there is someone who does not matter to me, I classify their opinion as not mattering now.

    There are several exceptions, and I will most likely use a lot of situations as an exception, but I am just saying.
    That's great, don't give(forgive me for saying this, for I hate that term so much) haters any second thought.
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    Post by User1 Sun May 05, 2013 12:35 pm

    @Res, I suppose that's a good point. I won't really have time for them.
    @Den, Good that someone agrees with me. Sun
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    Post by Ezlare Tue May 07, 2013 1:13 am

    You know what really grinds my gears? Someone judging you for your taste in music based on the color of your skin. Honestly, I thought people of my age group were passed that level of immaturity. I was clearly wrong about that notion.
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    Post by Mr. Tart Tue May 07, 2013 4:48 am

    I feel like each day that goes by, my energy is being drained. And not just physically, but mentally as well. I lack the energy to sleep, however much sense that might make, that is the case. Even before when i was depressed, i was still happy every now and then, but recently, i haven't even smiled once.

    I hope this will all be over soon. I hope that therapy will help me become who i used to be again. I want the energy to do what i like. I want to paint, write and take photos again.

    It's really frustrating me. I seem to make no progress whatsoever. I just feel worse, and i hate it.

    Edit: Just wanted to get that off my chest.
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    Post by lonewolf Tue May 07, 2013 5:06 am

    good that you are letting it out dude
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    Post by densetsushun Tue May 07, 2013 6:20 am

    Mr. Tart wrote:I feel like each day that goes by, my energy is being drained. And not just physically, but mentally as well. I lack the energy to sleep, however much sense that might make, that is the case. Even before when i was depressed, i was still happy every now and then, but recently, i haven't even smiled once.

    I hope this will all be over soon. I hope that therapy will help me become who i used to be again. I want the energy to do what i like. I want to paint, write and take photos again.

    It's really frustrating me. I seem to make no progress whatsoever. I just feel worse, and i hate it.

    Edit: Just wanted to get that off my chest.
    I know what you feel like, I feel lethargic most of the time as well.
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    Post by nsane32 Tue May 07, 2013 6:40 am

    I have very low mental stability at the moment more so than usual Thank God im joining the CIA need to kill some thing pretty soon
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    Post by User1 Tue May 07, 2013 12:19 pm

    I am letting out a good thing, but a few already know this:

    I AM OUT OF MY DEPRESSION! big grin
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    Post by Soris Ice Goldwing Tue May 07, 2013 12:19 pm

    Congrats man! I hope that never happens again.

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